I have a binge eating addiction. A sugar addiction, a fat addiction, an eating-so-much-that-I-can't-move addiction. I cry to my boyfriend at night, I can't sleep. I'm unhappy and it's affecting every aspect of my life. I barely see my friends, would rather stay in and work on giving up bingeing, but then the cycle comes back round and I find myself back to where I have started.
I self pity because I am the only one who can do this and when I fail it makes me feel so bad.
I am admitting I have an addiction to binge eating and overeating. I can't control myself like people who can have the odd blow out day or overeat here and there. I can't justify buying trigger foods right now, skipping dinners in favour of overeating then, or later. Not until I fight this addiction.
I am healthy, I exercise a lot with long distance running. I eat healthy foods and maintain a healthy weight, despite wanting to lose another 6.5 kg for preference of being slimmer.
But binge eating is not healthy. I don't need excess food to turn to fat and torment me mentally.
Day 1 is admitting I have a problem. Day 1 is the first day that I deal with this addiction one day at a time.
3 meals a day (healthy), exercise, homemade juices, lots of water, the occasional coffee, the occasional snack. There's no reason I can't stick to that. I will feel hungry and tired and have cravings and feel emotional at times but my happiness will be my reward and the weight loss will follow.
I want to look back on this day in a couple of months and see how far I have come and how much happier I am for giving up my addiction.
So here we go, day one.