Very often, after everything alright in a day: having eaten right, exercised, and worked my strength of will. I walk past a candy store and tell myself how much I deserve that piece of chocolate mousse (which is usually not small).
I say it's just a little bite, I've been fighting so hard and I've done everything so right.
But usually the little piece turns into a slice, in two, in the middle of a pie ... one whole.
Lately, I have been thinking sincerely and holistically about things and especially about self-sabotage that I often do with myself.
I do not think it hurts to eat something we like, in a moderated way. But I know myself and I know my gluttony / anxiety /eating disorder will eventually betray me.
Follow me here: After having sweated at the gym or done that walk that gets my feet hurt, after I lost the first few pounds, measured my portions, having gone beyond my limit, after I've learned how to be a better person to myself and even after I defeated and learned to talk to my worst demons, what I think I deserve so much ? A miserable piece of butter and sugar...? Meh.
I think I deserve to fit in a clothes that my mother gave me with such affection, (the one I love the fabric and colors.). I think I deserve to go to a party without feeling insecure with my body, I think I deserve to feel good about myself, I think I deserve health to have a good life and do everything my soul longs to do and my body does not allow.
What is a miserable piece of mousse compared to that?
*From now on I will draw all my post pictures, like the image from this one :) *