Today I had one of the most unpleasant talks with my fiance about my goal.

 

In the end of this talk I didn't know if it was good to me and bad for our relationship or if I'm just being...crazy.

 

Several times during our relationship I tried and failed about this weigth loss thing. In four years i gained 40 kg / 83 pounds, and he was with me all the time and never said a word about it. But I know how this kind of thing can afect a relationship. He didn't know me how I'm today.


Well, I always tried to envolve him in my tries to lose weight, because he is not healthy as well. The only things he eats, and I really mean it, is potato, rice, black bean, egg and cheese. There are more but I think what I just wrote is about 90% of what he eat.

I think he is tired of this process, because I always failed. And today he told me that this time, I am alone. He didn't mind to eat chocolate in front of me ( actually, i had to break the chocolate for him), he didn't go to the gym with me how usually he does, he is eating the same sh*t he always ate.

But this time he just said : i won't do a thing for you this time, don't count on me. This is your responsability and I'm not the person who is in a diet, you are.

It was very hard to listenning to this kind of thing, especially from someone that i believe is my partner.

The surprise is that I went to the gym alone, I'm doing only my food and I'm felling good.

I don't know, maybe I needed to hear that because if we stop and think, we are alone in this journey.

Of course we have friends to support us, but the final decision is ours. It's our body that we must carry to the gym, is our mouth that we must close to the wrong things and it's us that must motivate ourselves to go on in a bad day. The question is...how will you feel about yourself once you are alone? Today I was very upset but I'm surprise that I have found a good person in me. A person that made the right choice even in a bad time.

 

Regarding to my fiance...I just don't know how to feel about him yet. I'm sad and confuse. :(

 

*Sorry for this post, I needed to write.*