So I'm finally back under 140 pounds. I've been waiting for what seems forever to get back here. I really thought I'd be thrilled to finally be here. But instead it feels anticlimactic.
I still have a long way to go. I want/need to lose at least another 20 pounds. But 140 has been a magical number for me. I've not been able to reach it. Every time in the past when I've gotten close, I'd self sabotage and end up back over 150. (Which I had also promised myself I'd never see again the time before when I went under 150 - only to see it there waiting for me to return.) Maybe that is why 140 scares me. For the past three years it's been an impossible goal. I went back and fourth over 150 so many times, maybe I'm afraid that is how it's going to be 140. But I'm not going to let that happen.
Maybe it will take a while for it to sink in that I finally passed 140. I get to have that massage I promised myself! And hopefully it won't be too long before I pass the 130 mark.