Anni, I was a binge eater for years (it started in high school), so I know that feeling of not trusting yourself around food. It involves learned behaviors and a mixture of emotions, which makes it really complicated, but it is definitely something you can get through. I've learned a lot of new, healthier behaviors to replace my old ones, and I spent about 3 years in therapy and 2 years on antidepressants to deal with the emotions. I won't lie--I still struggle with my relationship with food, but I go months without having a binge and have successfully lost about 50 pounds. It wasn't easy to work through, but it also wasn't easy to live with the lack of control and guilt every day! I know it sometimes feels hopeless, but I hope you know it's not! It's a journey, with some days better than others, just don't give up! Focus on the small victories along the way, and know that each victory brings you closer to a healthier, happier you!