Today was one of those days--you know the kind. You're eyeing yourself more critically in the mirror, none of your clothes are sitting right, and right now, you wonder what the bleeping hell you've been doing all this time. 

I feel like most of us know we've been conditioned to get down on ourselves. We realize there are impossible standards set in place by this invisible THEM that somehow change their minds every few decades about what's attractive/healthy. 

Yet all of that is so easy to forget when there are these micro reminders scattered throughout our lives. The cut of trendy jeans. That billboard you walked by this morning. The advertisements on TV. Even your internet sites have those bars on the side that depict these idealized body types. You just can't get away from it. 

So today was one of those days. I just looked at myself and thought, "Ugh." 

The rest of my day could have been ruined by that moment. It very nearly was. Here's the deal, though--it wasn't. I dug out my gym clothes, looked up a video on youtube, and did a 7 minute HIIT low impact routine. 

I'm still sitting here sweating, because I had this ephiphany while I was logging the workout into my phone app: I have been a lot more successful than I know. 

  1.  I did something to turn my mood around, even though it was tempting to wallow. 
  2.  It was a physical activity, which served my ultimate purpose. There was a time that wouldn't have even occured to me. 
  3. My current size isn't important. Every pair of jeans I own has a different number on it, because ultimately it was whether or not it buttoned or zipped and sat nicely that decided my purchases. 
  4. Eveybody on Dietbet is a different size/weight. Everybody wears it differently. Some people who don't feel good about themselves are at a weight I haven't been since I was in middle school. That's all relative. What's important is how I feel. 
  5. The numbers on the scale can fluctuate. Non-scale victories are just as, if not more important.

I may not have ever won a Dietbet, but I can't deny that I've changed for the better. The weight part is nice, but obviously didn't magically fix things. I still had a bad body-image day. My smaller sized clothes still felt wrong. 

I'm going to make a resolution to start a list of my accomplishments, things that aren't tied to numbers on a scale. It's important to remember that every little thing adds up to something bigger, and that if I focus on the negative, all my positives will get washed away. 

And that would be pretty tragic.