Day 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, and 108

Posted on June 2, 2015

Ah, my mouth hurts man. This past weekend was my half marathon and I couldn’t go. This is the second race that I signed up for in my life that I have not run. I hate this feeling of failure. But I keep telling myself that its better that I wait now in order to run more races in the future. Also my eating was very much half and half. I ate really well in some instances and I ate four sugar cookies and lots of gingerbread in others. Needless to say I ate so much junk to the point that I don’t crave it anymore. I got it out of my system finally. That’s the good thing about eating so much shitty food at once. You can see the direct relationship with a few days worth of shitty food and the lethargic way your body feels. I am determined to eat as clean as possible this week.

Day 107 (Monday)

I had a few cookies yesterday that I’m not too proud about…Who would’ve thought that changing your lifestyle would be so difficult. LOL. Of course it would be. I don’t know why I expected it to be any different. Guys I seriously think I have an addiction to sugar.

Day 108 (Tuesday)

Even though I also ate somewhat badly yesterday I managed to stop feeling sorry for myself for about 40 min. and got a workout in. I forget that I feel like shit not only because I am in pain but because I am not working out. At all. Yesterday was my first work out in like ten days. I will try to get in a bit of a workout today too. Let’s see what happens. I have to start writing down everything again.

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bahhhhh

06/03/2015 8:44AM

I have this quote taped onto everything in my world right now: "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Ranier Maria RilkeI'm working on trying not to view my failures as "Failures", you know? Shit happens. Cookies happen. It sounds like you're viewing these things the right way-- which is to say it sounds like you're holding yourself accountable without beating yourself up. That said, I could not live a life devoid of sugar. It isn't worth it to me. Chocolate is my downfall. I want all the chocolate. So I try to buy little squares and be an adult about it-- treat myself to one or two after dinner, that kind of thing... Buuuuuuut... It doesn't always pan out. I ate like 10 Dove dark chocolate squares the other day. It was amazing. And the next day, I only wanted one. I dunno. Maybe there's something to all that "sludge meal" talk. As for the being in pain/not working out/feeling bad stuff-- yes. YASSS. My body feels good today, for the first time in over a week, and I know it's because I have worked out 2 consecutive days, drank 3 litres of water both days, and have been eating well. I wish I could like electroshock therapy myself into remembering that feeling bad makes me feel bad which makes me eat badly which makes me feel bad which makes me eat badly. LOL. I hate that when you're in the heart of ennui or general crap-feeling that all the logic just VANISHES. Vanishes in a puff of pastry and cream. Dieting is hard. I think I need to get a ta

Kimberly G. likes this comment.

Kimberly G.

YES!!!!! You have it perfectly!! It is a vicious, awful cycle!! I also magically forget that the cure to said cycle is working out, drinking water, and eating well. I know that I can't get rid of chocolate either. What is life without chocolate?! I just need to get it under control and not crave it ALL THE TIME. Also that quote is amazing. It acknowledges that we will have setbacks but we will continue to improve. Love it!

Biking Syl

06/02/2015 7:14PM

You're doing it! Focus on the good choices you make and forget about the bad ones. Get right back on track and never look back. The only thing you can control is TODAY - and you made a lot of good choices today!

Brit and Kimberly G. like this comment.

Kimberly G.

Thank you! Literally I just have to get my mind straight I know I can do it!! That knowledge plus the support that you guys provide makes me unstoppable.

Biking Syl

Whoo-hoo! That's the spirit! :-) And don't forget: motivation is overrated, just show up an do it. That's what I keep telling myself ;-)

Washingtonienne

06/02/2015 4:51PM

Good job in getting that workout in! We all have days like that, when we just say Screw it, I'm gonna have that cookie! A healthy mindset will tell you that it wasn't a catastrophe, that you can kind of "negate" that with some extra healthy living.

Kimberly G. likes this comment.

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Kimberly G.

Yeah it still hurts, but I am getting my walks in! It's funny because I don't really consider it a workout even though it is. As long as I am moving!!

Brit

Yes, walking is still a workout! ! You are moving so you are improving! !! :)