I feel like I have been living my whole life on a diet and am getting tired of losing and gaining. But mostly I am tired of feeling so out of shape and sore and tired. I have no energy and it hurts to do simple things like get up off the couch, climb stairs, squat down and get up off the floor. My back hurts when I sleep on it too long and my feet hurt after walking on them too long. My knees hurt and when I go down the stairs, I have to only bend my left knee because my right one hurts and will probably give out on me. I feel like I am literally falling apart. I can't run if my life depended on it, scary.
I would love to run, even though I have never been good at it. It just looks like something I would enjoy doing after I finally get good at it.
I want to love looking at myself again. I hate it that I can't even look at myself without feeling disgusted. I want to be proud of myself. I would also like to be more muscular.