Hey all,

Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday :) Here I am, typing away into the abyss... I think more to keep myself mentally on-task for what's ahead than anything. So, my apologies if this is rambly ;)

I've been thinking a lot about this upcoming year, and the goals I have set for myself. I'm coming home to what I'm intending to do in this weight-loss journey. I'm realizing that this is going to be an entire change of self-perception, habits, and daily life: things which - in times past, many MANY times past - I have approached lightly, casually, almost unconsciously.

Losing weight and getting fit was something that I always kind of thought, "oh pfft, I can do it anytime, I just don't want it enough right now." Retrospectively, I don't think I was ready for a long time, and not all of that was a negative reality.

This has been a year of partying, a year of drinking not-so-casually; it's been a year of eating out whenever I wanted, a year of being a reliable after-work cocktail buddy for my friends; it's been a year of minimal exercise, minimal concern - and sometimes that was a LOT of fun!!

But throughout many of my days was a constant, steady background noise that followed me like a fog: the knowledge that things could be different, that I could be more in control of my life, that I could be more confident, that I could be happier daily, that I could CHANGE. The knowledge that I wouldn't want to have drinks and fancy, decadent meals out if I didn't feel the need to escape from daily life in some way. The knowledge that I could have energy in abundance, and wake up excited to face the day. The knowledge that healthy feels BETTER.

Changing my lifestyle and habits is something I'm coming home to the idea of. I'm recognizing that it will mean shifts in many things, including how I view food, my alcohol consumption, what time I wake up at, how I utilize my time, who I associate with on a regular basis, what I do for enjoyment, and how I talk to myself. Self-criticism will have no place in this new person: it simply can't.

In typing, I feel a bit scared, but mostly calm and ready. It's been a long time since I've challenged myself for the sake of a challenge, and the time feels right. It's like stepping into the unknown, but that's the exciting bit: I have no idea who I will be once these habits form! And what opportunities a new way of thinking and living will open up! I am excited, and I am confident. I am ready.

Three more sleeps, and a new life begins. I'm ready for what that ACTUALLY means.

Goodnight everyone!