"Talking 'bout a Revolution"

I am going to lose weight and get in better shape. I say this now, and now happens to be within the first week of January, so you’re probably guessing that I have made a resolution. Well, I haven’t; this is purely a coincidence.

As for resolutions, I don’t believe in them, because in my experience, they never work. They also have, what seems to be, unwritten rules attached to them. Like when you make a resolution, you must share it with others, because how can keeping a resolution to yourself be any fun, or real. Much like the conundrum, “If a tree falls in the forest when no one is around to hear it, did it really fall?” Personally, I think it did. We have fossil fuel as proof, but I digress. Still, the naysayers will ask, “Where’s the proof of my unannounced resolution?”

Also, when a resolution goes by the wayside, unfulfilled, you must feel a considerable amount of guilt, akin to the amount of guilt bestowed on Catholics by virtue of their breathing. Immediately after failing to keep a resolution, guilt starts to feel oppressive. Excuses get thrown about like all the losing 50-50 ticket stubs strewn throughout the bleachers of any baseball park. You take on an “I don’t care” attitude that only reinforces the idea that you really needed to succeed.

So all that said, I give you my “New Year’s Revolution.” You don’t like it? You think it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I disagree. I have never in my life started a revolution. I think this might be a game changer. I will be in the same ranks as Spartacus, Mahatma Ghandi, and Malala Yousafzai. Okay, maybe not exactly. I won’t be changing the world, or even my block for that matter, but I will be changing me.

This is going to be my personal revolution. My personal revolution against all the bad self-talk, the negative outlook, and all the reasons I have ever given as to why I can’t succeed at attaining my goal. It is where I will say, “Yes!” Yes to moderation, yes to healthy eating, yes to exercise, and yes to me!

The Oxford dictionary gives many definitions of the word revolution. The one I believe is most fitting is, “Alteration, change; upheaval; reversal of fortune.” If all that is true, bring it on. I cannot say it better than Tracy Chapman, when she says, “‘Cause finally the tables are starting to turn, talking ’bout a revolution.” I am so ready for this revolution.