Different Eating

Posted on February 4, 2016

My husband and I are different eaters.

I'm hungry right when I wake up; he's not hungry until 2pm. I eat all day and leave a finite number of calories for dinner; he eats a couple snacks mid afternoon and eats a ton of calories for dinner and before bed. He and I are both losing weight.

This means that cooking and going out to eat can be very difficult for us since our caloric and nutritional needs are so different. I'm figuring out how to negotiate this, but it's tough. If I do the cooking then the food fits with my needs but leaves him wanting. If he does the cooking it fits with his needs and ends up wasting food.

And then every time he adds something to his meal, or goes for round two, or gets a snack he offers me some. Every time he gets a beer, or dessert, or an appetizer he offers me one. I'm so tired of saying no. I know he's being polite and trying to make sure I have everything I want and need. It just feels like bragging to me sometimes (even though he doesn't mean it that way.).

I'll figure it out. And we'll have a talk. Then maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle.

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PDXJael

02/04/2016 1:58PM

Ditto! When my 6' tall boyfriend moved in with me we always ate the same thing -- and he lost about 30lbs and I *gained* almost 20!! I knew it had to stop. I love him and I love spending time with him, but we cannot go taco-for-taco and beer-for-beer, even if it seems "equal." He knows now to make my portions smaller and to order himself another drink at the bar if I'm sipping slowly. It was an adjustment, but we're both getting the hang of it!

LilyN

02/04/2016 9:43AM

I can totally relate to this! I also eat all day with a slightly larger meal for dinner. My husband snacks during the day, refuses my offers of breakfast/lunch, then is starving by dinner, so he binge eats everything in sight. He's been consistent with his exercise, so his body shape has changed a little, but he's NOT losing weight. I've tried to talk to him about portion control and timing his meals so he's not starving, but he doesn't want to listen to me. His excuse is that he's just different and that's the way he eats. I just cook dinners that will fit into my needs and I plate each of our meals (this has helped him to not eat quite so much), pack some for my lunch the next day, then leave the rest for him to finish off as seconds or a late night snack. He knows that I've measured out my meal to whatever is on my plate, so I won't eat anything else. I think I'd be less concerned about him if he was actually losing weight, but as it is, I'm hoping he'll come around eventually.