This has been a spectacularly bad week.
Last Tuesday I submitted a token weigh in for my Transformer game - 164.4! Down two pounds! 40% of my goal for round 1!
Then I proceeded to overeat, go out to eat, drink alcohol, eat too much after work, skip workouts.
Today I submitted another token weigh in. 168 even. I want to cry.
I am on vacation now for 5 days. I'm going to treat it as a "spa holiday." Exercise every day. Meditate. Sleep. Eat lightly and well. By the end of this vacation I want to be back to 164 (or less!) so I still have a chance to win this round. I need to get to 161 by November 5.
If it becomes clear I can't do that, I'm pulling out of the Transformer. I'd join a different one, but I won't keep pouring money into a game I've already lost. Rounds 2 and 3 will be hard enough with the holidays - I don't need to go into them behind! I've also attempted (and lost) enough Transformers to know that constantly trying to catch up is actually demotivating rather than motivating for me. So, I have these five days to get myself within striking range.
I hate how hard it is to lose weight and how easy it is to gain weight.
And yet, as I typed that sentence, I had to admit that I feel better when I eat about 1550 calories of healthy food. I've felt heavy, had digestive issues. Last night I expected to have acid reflux (though I didn't thankfully). Even this morning my stomach feels unnaturally full.
The good news is, I haven't been *that* far off. Calorically I've been way off, don't get me wrong - but it's one or two decisions that have pushed me over. Surely I can improve by one decision each day. Yesterday there were two decisions: 1) I decided to have 5 Dove chocolate squares with my lunch. Not a deal breaker, but it meant I had 210 fewer calories when I needed them at my 6:00 snack break. So, when I got to Crooked Pint after work, I was over hungry, which helped facilitate decision 2) I ordered a side of fries with my bowl of chili. Even with the chocolate, I had enough calories for a bowl of chili and one beer. But I didn't have the extra 500 calories a side of fries adds! And physically I didn't really need or even want that food; that's why I felt so heavy all night and even still this morning. So yes I felt "too hungry" but even in that state, my body doesn't need or want that much food.
Lesson 1: every indulgence comes at a price. If it takes calories away from planned snacks it is a bad idea.
Lesson 2: even when I feel "too hungry" my body feels best with about 1550 calories a day.
Lesson 3: Stick to the plan. Trust the plan.