I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. All of my life if I'm honest. In my late 20's I lost 90 pounds and changed my life. I've never regained all the weight, but I have yo-yo'd a lot. Once after a bad break up I slowly regained 40 pounds. I fought back and lost the weight again. Then life got busier, more stressful, I worked more, I went through another break up, I developed an injury in my left foot . . . And now I find myself 20 pounds heavier again.
I've been trying to "pull myself together" for months, but it's been a struggle. For whatever reason I didn't actually feel ready to make the changes I need to make to lose the weight. Because of course the bottom line is obvious: I need to eat less and exercise more - and that's so much harder than it sounds when emotional overeating is the core of the problem.
It's a vicious cycle. I feel bad (tired, lonely, stressed, over worked, under appreciated, unloved) and in that moment, I feel that food will make me feel better. Or, I feel good (happy, celebratory, surrounded by friends) and in that moment, I feel that food will heighten the enjoyment. This leads to excess weight, which in turn makes me feel bad (fat, puffy, out of shape) and the cycle starts again.
For the past 18 months I've also been struggling with Morton's neuroma in my left foot. This is apparently a relatively common condition in women my age, so some of you may know about it or have it. It basically is an abnormal growth on the nerve in between my 3rd and 4th toes that causes pain in the ball of the foot, numbness of the toes, or the feeling like I have a broken toe all the time. I understand that on the grand scheme of things, this isn't that bad, but it's been a real crimp in my lifestyle. On the advice of my doctor I stopped all impact exercise (jogging, fitness walking, elliptical, home workout videos). I still cycled, rowed, and lifted weights, but the monotony got to me and over time, I worked out less and less.
The good news is, my foot is doing better. It still hurts every day, but it's manageable. Also, my attitude has changed. Instead of trying to pamper it as much as possible, I've decided I need to just do what I want to be able to do; if it gets a lot worse, then I know I need the surgery my doctor says would be the next step. I really don't want to have surgery; I've read so many nightmare reports about people who have had the surgery only to have the neuroma regrow or to be in more pain than they started with after complications arose. But, I also don't want to get progressively fatter, weaker, and less flexible. Besides, losing 20 pounds has to help reduce my pain!
I'm feeling motivated and ready to change my life - again. I've signed up for another Diet Bet, a 6-month Transformer that begins on Tuesday. I've done these before. Overall, I've lost money, but the last time I successfully lost 20 pounds I did it with the help of a Transformer, so I'm hoping I can do that again! I weighed in today at 164.8 pounds (already an improvement on last week's 168) and my goal is to lose 10% of that starting weight by September 20. Wish me luck! Or better yet, join me! :-)
dbet.me/H5idbc