Why post this? Because... I don't recognize myself anymore. I can't reconcile the difference. Seven hard years, with huge stress, hormonal changes, kids growing, life happening all around... and the woman in this picture is just a memory. But she's the memory I cherish: the one and only time in my life when I felt worthy, interesting, sexy, pretty. The one and only time when I looked at my curves -- which I had hated and tried to hide all my life -- and saw something that was "ok". When I felt most things were possible, when I woke up each morning with joy in my heart, and when I believed in myself. I'm not that woman anymore - not that girl. But I want to be. I'm fighting, right here and right now, to find her again. For me, for my husband, and for the example I set for my children and the rest of my extended family: I pledge not to stop till I arrive. Goodbye, 40 pounds :)