So here's my deal:

Posted on October 29, 2016

Blah. I hate even the thought of writing about my *problems*, but dang it, I'm so frustrated! In a nutshell:

I felt GREAT -- briefly -- when I was close to 40. I was at a good weight (without trying - just suddenly found myself there after baby weight naturally fell away), I was energetic, I was joyful, and I had SUCH high hopes for the future.

Now? I feel 20 years older. Maybe 30! I'll list my complaints in a nutshell. because I need to acknowledge them and then MOVE ON, and not allow them to slow me down!

So here's my deal:

I feel OLD. I hobble around due to severe plantar fasciitis in one foot. I had been exercising most days of the week, and LOVING cardio for the first time in my life. Then my foot went south, and I've been off of it since. The pain is there every single day. I change shoes at least 3x a day just to get some relief. I'm so scared that this will never go away. It's been a year; my Dad has the same thing, and for him, it's been 2 years, with months on crutches and in a cast and it's NO better. So... it's a real downer for me.

I'm 40 pounds overweight (really I could stand to lose 50, but I'm very comfortable at 145, which is where I'd be after losing 40).

I'm terribly unfit.

I deal with depression. Not major depression, but constant low mood.

I did have a problem with anxiety for a while, and insomnia. I believe this was mostly due to peri-menopausal stuff. It seems to have passed, THANK GOD. I now have an appreciation for people who have anxiety disorder. It is AWFUL.

I often feel pretty worthless, which is really pathetically sad. I have many gifts and blessings, and much to be thankful for. At any rate, it's how I often feel, which makes motivation a little difficult.

So yeah.

HOWEVER! Certain things -- or more likely ALL things -- happen for a reason, in the right time, and I believe firmly that this is it for me. What's funny (in the most frustrating way!) is that the VERY same day that this Diet Bet started, I developed one of the worst migraine headaches I've had in the last 6 months. It lasted until yesterday, essentially making the entire first week of the Bet pretty much a wash. Tons of stress right now as well, but I'm just grateful that the headache is gone and I'm SO ready to get going. Did bunches of healthy food prep today, and ate well. I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep, headache-free, and a great Sunday. Of course, I'll be at my father-in-law's birthday/retirement party... wish me luck with all the goodies!

Comment Now!

Lakshmi K.

10/31/2016 4:49PM

Please hang in there Cath and thanks for sharing your story!????

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Amy

10/30/2016 5:42PM

Hi Cath - I feel for you. I have major depression and was suffering for about a year and a half until I changed my medication. I've had depression for 20 years and I was on my last medication for probably 14 years, although I don't think it was working properly for the last 4. Confirmed the last year and a half. Changing my medication in late spring/early summer this year made me feel incredible but it also caused an increase in my drinking - I know it sounds weird but I was craving alcohol and yadda yadda yadda, more food and alcohol and I gained 20 pounds over the summer. So I was thinner and depressed and now I'm happier and fat. Well me being fat doesn't make me happy at all and I'm not okay with it. Having physical and mental aliments are definitely obstacles in the weight loss journey but it can be done. Luckily most of weight loss comes from diet so controlling what you put on your plate is more important than exercise. Once you lose some of the weight maybe your foot will feel better and you can increase your exercising? In the meantime focus on building your biceps, chest, triceps and abs, focus on your food and water intake and think positive. Good luck on your Dietbet people are rooting for you. :)

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Hazel

10/30/2016 8:36AM

Wow! I'm/was in the exact same boat, except I have a bit more than 50 lbs to lose. :-) Plantar Faciitis in my right foot, insomnia, depression (years long), low to no motivation to do the things I love (drawing, painting, gardening), and the whole menopause thing! The desire to change, lose weight, draw or whatever was there but somehow I just couldn't do it! I'm the type of person that really hates the idea of taking pills everyday, even vitamins but I'll say, the lose dose of Wellbutrin my doctor prescribed has made a world of difference. I resent that it makes me feel better but at the same time I'm glad it does. I've gotten back to drawing and worked on my yard again in this last few months. Joined my first Diet Bet and am down almost 18 lbs approaching the end of round two. The foot thing does make me mad because I know I could do more vigorous walking/jogging if it didn't hurt. It's going on a year for me too. I've been making sure to stretch it after excercise and ice it too. I wear a brace to sleep so it stays stretched. I do my stuff on a treadmill because I'm afraid pavement would be to hard. I've been wondering if getting a hydrocortisone shot in my foot would work? Sometimes I think it's on the verge of going away. I had it in my other foot like 20 yrs ago and it hasn't been back. But if it doesn't I'm going to ask the doctor (I've not gone yet) about the shot. I understand where you're at. It's hard. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck with the

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Hazel

goodies!

Melissa L.

10/30/2016 5:13AM

((( Cath ))) I feel for you. I'm not in a good place either, but like you, I'm trying! Let's just start where we are and keep moving forward! We can do this!

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Cath

10/29/2016 10:32PM

Oh - the picture cut my head off! Oops. It was taken about a year ago, when I was working out regularly (but still 40 pounds overweight).