How i Got Over Cooper

Two...almost three...years ago, I had a baby named Cooper. For four days, he was mine. Or so I thought. And then he wasn't.

And earlier this year, my neighbors got a puppy, and named him Cooper. It was something I contemplated naming my own dog. But it felt like I was naming my dog after a dead baby. Even though he -- the baby -- wasn't dead, that's the way I have to think about him. And so I named my puppy Bernie (after Bernie Williams). And then, Cooper came home a month later.

I told Lee -- who we will forever just refer to now as EB (ex-boyfriend) -- that it bothered me, that I would get over it, but it bothered me that they took my baby's name. This, of course, after I had to remind him of the Cooper situation in my life. And then he literally said, I have to take a shower, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I was dumbfounded. And hurt. And we actually broke up the next day.

Suddenly, Cooper the dog was not the biggest worry in my life. After a few month of trying to figure out if the unhappiness I was experiencing in the relationship, if the things I felt were missing were just compromise or really and truly things that were missing.

And having EB not "get" why having a Cooper live next to me was initially going to be difficult was the bitch slap in the face. This wasn't about compromise, this was a basic need not getting met.

And so Cooper the dog became about how boyfriend became ex-boyfriend and not about my once-baby.

And now Cooper the dog is really just about how he is the arch-nemisis of Bernie and there is no negative connotation for me. (other than I really want Bernie to like him.)

So thanks EB for making it hurtful in a different way, but also a much easier hurt to get over.

Gale R

10/20/2014 11:34AM

Sorry for your loss, and how the whole situation played out. Yes, you never forget…time doesn’t heal all wounds, you just learn to cope better.

Laurie W. likes this comment.

Dave M.

10/20/2014 9:11AM

So sorry for the loss of your Cooper -- my wife and I struggled through something similar, so I have a sense for your loss / grief. In my experience, this loss is not something that you ever "get over", but the loss does change over time.

And not to try to force a silver lining, but it sounds like the whole EB / asinine reaction / Cooper fiasco left you better off over all -- you've kicked to the curb a guy who'dve never met your needs, and moved past a neighbor's insensitive choice. Now if only Bernie and Cooper can become buds!

Thanks for sharing.

Laurie W.

To be fair to the neighbors....they don't know about Cooper. We just became neighbors in the past year, and the Cooper situation was almost three years ago. Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry for your loss as well. It's never easy.

Comment Now!