My run was really great today! I feel like I made a bit of a breakthrough with my speed. I'm on the final week of Couch to 5K and will be running my first 5K race in over ten years this Saturday!
I hit my target time for Saturday (35:00) today, even with 5 minutes of walking to warm-up. Maybe I have to rethink that target. :)
I have a really bad habit of beating myself up over my running speed instead of celebrating my successes. I am always thinking about how fast I used to run and not about the improvements I am making now. I'm working hard to change the way I view my running.
20 years ago, I was a competitive runner. I ran everything from the 400m to half-marathons. I held several school records and event records. It was AWESOME and I had so much fun!
Somewhere along the line, I started eating more calories than I was burning with my runs. I had a major problem with binge eating. It all started, I think, when I was in college. Before I knew it, I had gained 30 pounds and my knees started to hurt all the time. Instead of working on my weight, I quit running. At my highest weight, I was 72 pounds heavier than I was when I was running my fastest.
In the past 10 years, I've made three attempts to lose weight because I want desperately to be a runner again. Somehow, my desire to run loses out to my desire to eat, over and over and over again. The first time, I lost 20 pounds and gained 30 back. The second time I lost 40 pounds and gained 50 back. See the pattern? I'm really trying to break that pattern this time.
My blood pressure is my big motivation this time around, but I'd still really like to start racing again, too.
Today was awesome because, for the first time in years, I felt that breakthrough moment when my body decides to get faster. IT FELT GREAT!
The first time I remember this feeling was when I was 13. I ran a 2 mile race in 14:19, an entire minute faster than I'd ever done it. Then there was the 12:59 2-mile in high school, and the 12:28 2-mile a year later. The 5:28 mile my junior year was amazing, but so was the first time I broke six minutes! Setting an age group record in my first ever half-marathon when I ran 1:41 at age 16 made me sure I was going to have a long career in distance running.
Maybe I still can.
Today, my spectacular breakthrough was completing a 5K in 35 minutes. Maybe it wasn't quite the same as all those moments when I was younger, but it felt just as great.
I need to hold onto that feeling and maybe rethink my goals for my race this weekend.
:)