The title is actually not fitting because I started yesterday (Monday's a good day to start things, right??). But since this is the day the diet bet starts, I figured it would be fitting =)
My girlfriend and I have been talking about our weight struggles for years now and just can't seem to really stick with anything that we try. We are super motivated in the beginning, but with life, cravings, lack of time, etc. we just can't stick with it. I was on the phone with her the other day and she told me about this site. I thought, wow what a cool thing to do and a motivator because it involves money! So here I am... giving this diet bet thing a try.
I want to get all my struggles, fears, and disappointments down now so that when I do lose the weight, I can go back and hopefully see how far I have come.... so here goes! Sorry that its depressing, but this is how I feel.
Vent Session
- In HS, I weighed 170 lbs and was a size 7-9 and I thought I was fat. WOW.... If only I could be that way now!
- In the last 7 years, i have gained 88 lbs. Since I started seeing my fiance three years ago, I have put on 55 lbs. I look at pictures from the beginning of our relationship and now, and I am completely and utterly embarrassed. He has put on a measly 5-10 lbs since we started dating.
- I used to love to take pictures and get all dolled up, not anymore. I feel fat in ALL pictures unless they are just from my shoulders up.
- I really don't know how it got to be so bad. I honestly don't think I am eating that much worse/more than I used to. I also workout probably the same as I used to. I guess it just has caughten up with me over the years...
- I hate what my body has turned into. I hate that I have stretch marks all over my body and even if I lose a bunch of my weight, those scars will remain their the rest of my life. I will never be able to wear a bikini again in my life, even if I do lose the weight.
- I HATE being naked. I don't want to get intimate with my fiance as much anymore because I am so embarrassed of how I look. I know he loves me, but I am still ashamed..
- I hate that I struggle shopping because I have to find the plus sized clothing. I also look for stuff that is extremely baggy to cover up my fat.
- Wedding dress shopping was a nightmare... Stores don't carry that large of sizes for us bigger girls to try on.
- I hate that I am a physical education teacher for a career and I am considered "obese" by BMI standards. I hate that I can run around in the gym with my kids all day long and be active, and I don't.
- I hate that I am trying to be healthy and exercise more and my fiance eats whatever he wants, eats a TON more than I do, exercises way less than me, and hes the thin one.
- I hate the scale! It always shows a different number every single time you step on it....!
What am I going to do differently this time around???
- I bought nutrisystem a few years back and got awesome results, when I stuck with it... I decided to take the plunge and buy it again and see how I would do. It is extremely hard sticking with it when you have a fiance that eats whatever he wants. I know its not an excuse and I make my own decisions.. This time I plan on being stronger and sticking with it better. I eat it for breakfast and lunch every day Monday-Friday, weekends and dinners get tricky. I am going to try my hardest to do dinner with it a few nights a week. The nights I don't do dinner with it, I will try a healthier option and smaller portions.
- I have a food/exercise journal in which I write everything I eat down (with calories), I write down how many miles I walked in the day, how many calories I burned during my exercises, and how many ounces of water I drink in the day. This helps me keep myself accountable for what I am doing today.
- I am going to exercise more with my students in P.E. class. The last two days I have ran the laps with a few of the classes for our warm ups.
- I want to do some type of exercise every single day of the week. The intensity doesn't need to be the same, but I want to get myself moving!
- I want to walk at least 5 miles everyday and burn 600 calories everyday.
- When I do eat something not good, I need to be smart about it and eat less portions.
- I need to be more positive about myself and stop hating how I look. Be excited for progress! Be more affectionate with my fiance!
- Eat 2,000 calories or less a day
- I am going to journal my thoughts and feelings about this journey! I already feel better writing this blogpost...=)
How do I see myself in the next year?
- 170 lbs
- Able to run 5 miles without stopping
- Haven't drank pop in months
- Fit into my old clothes that are hanging in my closet
- Excited to be in pictures!
- More intimate with my husband
- Love life like I used to
- Not obsess about food!
The last two days progress....
Monday:
Getting up in the morning, I was extremely terrified to go on the scale. I avoided it like the plague for the last month or so because I knew I was eating bad and I didn't want to see the damage. I got on the scale three different times and each time the number was different... AHHH it drives me crazy. The first time I was 257.8, then I was 258.8, then I was 258. I took a picture of that weight because it was an even number. My weight was varified and I was determined to do this!
I tracked all diet/exercise for the day:
Calories consumed: 1,600
Miles: 7.63
Calories burned in workout: 969
Water intake: 104 oz
Although, we had subway for dinner... I made a good choice! I got a 6 inch sub! I also had a cookie. But I still was only at 1,600 calories which isn't too bad. I ran with the kids in 2 of the classes yesterday and then played in a volleyball league. I LOVE playing volleyball and it is such a great workout and its not dreadful like going to the gym! I burnt like 600 calories alone just playing volleyball for an hour. Then when I got home, my gf that introduced me to diet bet and I had a phone date for about 30 minutes. During this time I was outside walking while we chatted. I went to bed a little hungry, but thats ok. I gotta get my body used to eating less!
Tuesday:
I know I shouldn't weigh myself every morning but I just could not help myself... I got on the scale naked this morning and I weighed 253.8. Then I put clothes on and weighbed myself and I was 255.8. Its amazing how much clothes adds on! But that is 2.2 lbs down the first day. I know the scale flucuates and everything, but at least I see some progress!
At school I had a meeting all morning, which didn't allow me to get as much exercise in with my kids. The meeting also had goodies.. =( I got a blueberry muffin. But don't worry, I counted it in my total calorie intake and I still did pretty good! But in the afternoon, I got running in with one of my classes. After school, I worked out with a coworker and did a T25 video and then went to the gym and went on the treadmill for 40 minutes and watched part of the Bachelor.
I went home and I had a nutrisystem chicken and broccoli dinner and had two bosco sticks. I honestly don't eat the healthiest, and I probably never will because I just don't like healthy food... but I am eating less than I normally do which is good.
Calories consumed: 1,725
Miles: 6.22
Calories burned in workout: 540
Water intake: 116 oz
Not bad... I want to stay under 2,000 calories per day. I could have had a better workout, but I started getting a headache towards the end so I stopped. Tomorrow is going to be more difficult because I am out of school all day to go to a professional development conference in which they provide us YUMMY food. Wish me luck on making smart choices! I also plan on working out RIGHT after work...
Good luck to all on this journey and thank you for letting me share my thoughts! =)