I can't believe I'm up 17+ pounds since my last weigh-in. SEVENTEEN POUNDS!! Granted that was over 2 years ago and a lot has happened since then...I'm still very disappointed in myself. This is the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I know the number on the scale does not define who I am but it really sucks to see how I've let myself go. The worst part isn't even the pounds but how horrible I FEEL. I feel OLD, tired, grumpy, slugish, not attractive, heavy, and SICK. I wanted to lose 20 pounds at my last weigh-in but instead weigh that much more! How did this happen?!
There is a list of excuses I could have for how this happened...but that's all it'd be, EXCUSES. As much as I'd like to sit here and explain how I lost my gallbladder and decided to take birth control for the first time in my life for six months and experienced HORRIBLE side effects, and as much as I'd like to scream THIS WASN'T MY FAULT...I have to take accountability. Dwelling on the past isn't something I've ever done. I know there's no point. The damage has been done. What matters is what I will do from this point on. I could sit here with my list of excuses, not change a thing about myself and probably end up even heavier. OR I could own up to my mistakes, take accountability, make a plan, and change for the better.
This time around, I want this more than anything. I don't want to lose weight to impress anyone or to even look good. I just want to be HEALTHY and to FEEL good again. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing this sad depressed person who's let herself go. Where is that girl with so much spunk and life in her eyes? Where is that girl that had so much energy she could light up an entire city by herself? WHERE IS SHE?
I've gotta find that girl again. I know she is in there somewhere and I'm on a mission to bring her out. For the next four weeks I have joined a dietbet. I plan to lose 4% of my body weight and hopefully MORE. In order to do this I am trying to commit to healthier habits. These habits include:
1. Drink a gallon of water a day!
2. SWEAT IT OUT - 25 mins a day doing T25!
3. Walk IT OUT - walk/jog with my dog Lucy, twice a day, aiming for 3 miles a day!
4. Meditate - 10 mins a day!
5. EAT LIKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF. Veggies, Fruit, Lean Protein, you know the drill, stick to it!
6. POST A BLOG A DAY - journal your entire journey - stay accountable.
I also joined a stepbet challenge to make sure I keep my promise to walk it out daily and to get MOVING. I sit at my desk at work from 9-5, Mon-Fri - I've got to get my steps in throughout the day and really focus on letting go of this FUNK I'm in.
I know this isn't going to be easy so I'm looking forward to getting support from everyone on here. I know we are all in this struggle together. I'm already feeling slightly better because at least I am actually doing something about this instead of wishing it'd go away.
We got this y'all! The time will pass anyways, lets make this count. Now if you would please excuse me, I've gotta go PEE!