Aaaaargh!!! My brain is ridiculous around food sometimes. I was in the supermarket looking for something else, when I saw a cooked bacon joint for about a fifth of its original price. Some primal part of me thought 'That looks delicious, and its sooo cheap, I must have it.' The rest of me seemed powerless to resist, decided to pick up some chocolate eclairs, and told me to just binge on everything in the car before I got home, so that the fiance would never know.
We had already planned a big tasty steak dinner, and I knew I was being stupid. I was planning on going to the gym after my trip, and I thought 'I'll just stay at the gym longer to burn it all off again.' At that point, sense returned, and I realised it would take days of effort to wipe out all that food, and I would be trapped in a shame spiral for days, if I just let it slip out of control.
Eventually, I managed to put the bacon joint and the eclairs down, feeling utterly bereft, like I was missing out on the best party ever, and I really wanted to go.
It was worrying how much self control it took to put the extra food down, and how deprived putting those things back made me feel. I'm proud of myself for turning back from the brink, but its really scary how difficult I found it and how mindlessly and naturally I had picked them up with.
The funny thing? I was in the shop looking for ingredients to make protein bars...
Oh well, I conquered the beast today and I'll be looking out for the sneaky bugger tomorrow.