Well I have never bloggded befor so here it goes.  At this very moment I am blogging mostley to avoid doing some dreaded paper work that I must get done, but I am a proscinator by nature, so why ruin a good thing? I don't just procristinate over dreaded paperwork, I am currently also avoiding this weight loss thing that I have vowed  to myself to start everday for a year or more. You are probably all wondering what is this babble all about and my answer is I have no idea, just another way to avoid the real problem. I also just realized that I can neither spell or type. I have already corrected this three times.  I am sure some eagle eyed grammarian will read this and shudder in actual horror.  I should have my friend Jen come and edit this appropriatly, which would give me more time to put off my real issues.  Well I guess here I go the real stuff the good stuff  the meat and bones. I am FAT, actually obese not morbidley yet, but if I keep gaining at my current rate I will be. I am wondering how I got here, how did I allow this to happen?? Easy I am tired. Why am I so tired I can up with a thousand  excuses none of them truley valid. My first excuse I work twelve hour night shifts at a hospital as a Respiratory thearpist usually friday-sunday. I never feel recovered on my days off anymore probably a byproduct of obeseity, at least I would like to think so I could just be lazy. My next excuse my kids I am constantly toting them around to activites. we have cheer and dance and band ect....  My last excuse I am also a caretaker at home for my oldest child who is 22 years old and mentally disabled. He is exhausting most days. Tuesday- thursday I take him to work at a workshop 22 miles from our house. Getting him awake on theses days is a Herculean feat, although friday-monday he seems to wake up at the crack of dawn. I get him to work by 8am run errands come home and hope to get my NAP, because I am exhausted. I get back up and attempt to be awake I look and feel more like something from the living dead and get some  houshold chores done.  after I have manged some household chores I dragg myself (liveing dead style) to the car and start picking up kids. I pick my son, Gage up from work and my tween and teen girls from extracurricular activities.  I then head to after school activites. My youngest Annabelle heads to the dance studio monday, tuesday and thursdays. Emma my middle daughter is picked up from cheer practice and Gage my disabled son heads to the local Cross Fit gym,and then currently basketball with special olympics. You are probably wondering why I don't attend Cross Fit with him? I did one class and couldn't walk for a week see another silly excuse. I have a disabled son who does it so I really have no excuse, The people at the gym are amazing and taylor his workout so he is succesful. They are the nicest most inspiring indidviduals I have met.( makes me sick) I guess the real problem is I am scared. I have hung on to this weight like that old comfy sweatshirt you know looks awful, but you can't part with it. I am stuck in a mire of self pity and excuses like the dinosaures were stuck in the tar pits.  I am slowely sinking deeper and deeper. I think now is the time to look for a way out a instead of continuing to flail and sink futher under. I am going to stop blogging now and start on that dreaded paper work.