Where to go from here....

Posted on January 31, 2016

*Disclaimer, this blog turned out to be much longer than expected, but I think it helped me to get everything out. I discovered a lot about myself in writing this. Most of this is a work vent and trying to figure out where to go from here....

I've participated in DietBet games in the past and lost 25 pounds before, but gained about 10 pounds this year because of emotional eating and stress. I started the January Transformer this year, hoping to use the DietBet game to get back into shape and lose the extra pounds I recently gained and then some. I have yet to actually get back into the full swing of things though, and it is really frustrating. My eating habits are all over the place and I am not exercising like I should be. When I have a good day I stay within my calorie range, choose healthier options, limit the sweets and choose good portion sizes. But lately I've been having more bad days than good. I am overwhelmed and stressed out all of the time.

My boss has been in a controlling and "clean house" mood since the beginning of the year. He is a negative person and does not communicate well with his employees, resulting in escalated problems. He began making crazy new rules and he keeps taking away a majority of our "privileges." For one, we only have a 3 month window to take off for our vacations. We can only request days off and vacation time between June-August. Anything outside of those months we cannot have off for any reason. The reason he started doing all of this is to punish 2-3 employees that he has a problem with, but instead of addressing issues with them, he is punishing everyone.

I was denied time off for the ADELE concert in November (yes I actually scored tickets!!!) of this year that I bought tickets to before he came up with these crazy new rules. His reasoning....because his new rules say so and we work for him. If we don't like the new rules, we can leave. He says his employees work for him and we have to abide by his rules. Needless to say, I plan to be out of there by then. I am not missing a concert I purchased tickets to almost a year in advance because he is being a complete douche bag. I have never worked for someone like this before.

Everyone at work feels the extreme negativity in the workplace from our boss and we are all fearful of losing our jobs. I have been looking for another job for the past couple of months, so I am working on getting out of the negative environment, but in the meantime I HAVE to figure out how to deal with this.

I have never been any good at handling stress. I use food as a coping mechanism, and that has never worked out for me. All I have to show for it is being overweight, stressed out, and exhausted all of the time. Work has been so unbearable lately that most days I have to excuse myself to the bathroom so that I can just cry... I know I need to get out. I compose myself and continue at work, just trying to make it through the day.

I think I should see a therapist about this, because at this point I think this job will kill me if I do not find some way to get out or cope. But, the reality is that I cannot leave work. My boss has made that very clear. I have been having dental problems all this month and I have brought work excuses from the dentist for my several appointments, but my boss has fussed at me each time I have to go to the dentist. He has also threatened all of our jobs a couple times with replacing all of us. We are a small business, and he has made it clear that he wants to start replacing people.

Anyway, I am sorry this blog went all over the place, but I am at the point in my life where I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't see a therapist, so I thought of maybe joining a Yoga class on Saturdays, when I am off. I know Yoga is supposed to help with stress. I know that exercising will also help me loads with dealing with this stress, but I keep making excuses. Today I am going for a 15 minute walk and tomorrow I will start doing the DailyBurn workouts again. I have to work on ways to deal with the stress instead of eating. Eating does not solve the problem, it just makes everything worse.

Comment Now!

Karen S

02/14/2016 10:09AM

So sorry you're going through all of this and I can relate. My best advice is to control what you can and let the rest go. He isn't going to change, so take care of yourself and do what you must to be healthy in the moment. Been there as well and it can be miserable. Find things outside of work that you enjoy and do them. :) My best to you.

GeminiWitch83 Amanda

01/31/2016 9:52PM

That sounds treacherous. I hope you can find a new job in a hurry! I use to have a horrible boss too, but it wasn't anywhere near that bad. I can't believe he's even giving you grief for going to the dentist. I just hope something comes your way to make your life easier!!

Brit likes this comment.

Chrystal M.

01/31/2016 9:29AM

Getting into a "life changing type of Yoga or meditation class" would be very helpful to you. Seek one that encourages sharing and journaling what is coming up as you stretch and breathe in group. You obviously need a place to vent. Not to make excuses for your boss but maybe business is tanking and the stress is taking its toll...However losing all your employees by showering your negativity all over the place will only make it worse. (talking about your boss here) You are right to seek help in more positive manner than eating your way through, which only brings up feeling guilty in the long run. All the best to you as you look for a new job and get your emotional eating under control.

GeminiWitch83 Amanda and Brit like this comment.

Brit

Thanks for the insight Chrystal. That type of yoga/meditation sounds like something I need.

Cali

01/31/2016 8:33AM

OMG Brit! Is there anywhere you can file a grievance against this tyrant? He is totally unreasonable and out of his tree. Does he own the business? Is there someone higher up that you ALL can go to? HE is the one who should be replaced. This is harassment/discrimination. He's created a hostile working environment that is affecting your health. If you're not able to report him to someone higher up or a union, then see if there is a legal firm who would take on the case and receive payment if they win a settlement. There are firms out there. Google it. I'm glad you're looking for a new job but talking to a lawyer might be better therapy than even a therapist or yoga. Stress will keep weight on and make you gain. Call or email a lawyer asap. There are laws against this type of treatment. Threatening to fire everyone is against the law. If you need to talk about this further, no.paiin.no.gaiin@gmail.com

GeminiWitch83 Amanda likes this comment.

Brit

Cali, he is the company owner of a small business, so there is no one above him. There is no HR department to handle any of these issues. I've discussed the issue with a few people, asking if maybe he is breaking the law, but we are not sure if that could be considered breaking labor laws. Our state is an at-will employment state, so an employer does not have to provide any reason to fire someone. I might have to look into the labor laws in my state to see if I have a case or not. For now though, I am doing my best to stay sane and try to focus on the positive.

Cali

By all means, stay sane! :) Ya know, karma's a bitch and one of these days it's going to come full circle and kick his butt. He can't treat employees like that and expect to keep a business running smoothly for long. Stay strong, Brit.