Why Do I Question the Journey?

Posted on March 23, 2015

I have noticed a pattern of self-sabotage when I do well. When I first joined DietBet in October, I won Round 1, losing the most weight I have ever lost in a short period of time. After I won, I celebrated with a cheat weekend and that cheat weekend turned into a cheat month. It took me months to get back on track. It took me until Round 5 to get back on track and try to finish what I started. I managed to qualify for Round 6 and I was hopeful that I would reach my 10% goal by April 18th.

I started a second DietBet Transformer in February, to help me push through Round 5 and eventually Round 6. I needed the extra push, because I just could not find any motivation to exercise. The new Transformer gave me that push I needed and I won Round 1. Now, I find that I am losing motivation. I started Jillian Michael's Body Revolution 4 weeks ago and suddenly I find that I have gained 2 pounds, despite staying within my calorie range and doing all of my workouts.

I know that it is likely that I am gaining muscle or possibly retaining water weight, but it is still discouraging. I wanted to hit my 10% mark for my first game that ends in 2 weeks. At this point it does not seem likely, so that is also disappointing to me. I have noticed that after a month or so of tracking my calories and consistentlly exercising I tend to just give up, despite my progress. I have made a lot of progress in just one month of eating right and exercising again. Over the course of 2 years I have lost over 20 pounds, and almost half of that I lost during the Transformer.

I should be pushing forward now more than ever, but for some reason my mind has hit a brick wall. It says, " I don't want to do this." " I don't want to exercise." " I don't want to watch what I eat." " I am hungry ALL of the time." How do I silence these voices? I have always struggled with staying consistent, but I can't seem to find the discipline to get me through the tough days when motivation just isn't enough.

I skipped my workout this morning and I have just been questioning everything. Is this worth it? Why not just take a break from it all? Would it really make me happier? I know that quitting is not the answer, but I do know that I need to figure this out. Losing weight is hard. It's definitely a mental game and I hope to find the answer to these questions soon. I will find my way and figure out what is holding me back. In the meantime, I hope I can find the mental strength to keep pushing through.

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Brit

03/24/2015 6:51AM

Thanks again to everyone who offered encouragement and advice. You all helped get me back on my feet and helped me to think about the full picture. I am happy to say I am back more now than ever! I am so thankful for the support here on DietBet from you all. You are all rock-stars in my book!

Brit

03/23/2015 6:58PM

Thank you everyone for the encouragement! I may have stumbled today, but I did make up my missed workout. I might not have everything figured out, but I will keep going until I reach my goal, regardless of the pace. I would hug every one of you if I could. :)

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Dominik S

03/23/2015 4:46PM

One thing that works for me when I'm getting in that phase where I start to question everything and fail to see the bigger picture: Don't think too much! Just do it (Nike, haha). It sounds silly, but it's true. The more I think about it, the more I'm going round in circles, the less I get done. And if it's just a little extra motivation, you'd make a lot of people here (me included) really happy by succeeding. :) If if that doesn't help, think of how bad-ass you feel after schieving something you didn't want to do in the beginning. :D You cannot fail if you never stop trying. I believe in you. You will do this. :)

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Kimberly G.

So, so true. Thinking about it gives a chance for those voices to speak. Don't let them speak!Brit we have all been there. You can do this. You will do this.

Marsha B.

03/23/2015 11:13AM

Brit you a such a great motivator for myself with all your encouragements you send out to everyone. Take some of your advice for yourself. You can do this. We all have hills and valleys to go through. Your journey will not always be a straight line. You are on here reaching out so that does mean you are wanting the change. I know last week I was feeling the same way, and a few weeks before that too. So just do the best you can, and that will be enough, Remember it is only one step, one meal and one day at a time. You got this. Find out what is really behind the lack of motivation. I know for myself I start looking at my life and saying I should be here or there, doing this and that, or feeling unappreciated for some reason and I start to lose my motivation. Kind of like a small pity party. Emotions can play a lot into it. I also know when I start to feel good about myself I start the sabotage. embrace the change and the way you are feeling. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

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Brit

You are right about finding out about the lack of motivation. I need to focus more on the positive and what I am doing right! Thank you!!

Robin C.

03/23/2015 11:12AM

I know how you feel. Gaining nearly 20lbs April thru Dec last year I felt embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Like the rest of the world decided to make a serious change with the new year. Took my lunch (low carb, meat and veggies) to work every day, started Jillian Michaels revolution working out 6 days per week..currently on week 10 and have only missed 3 days..tracking what I eat in Spark People app...weighing daily, submitting weekly weigh in on here with photos etc. Since Jan 2, doing all that, I'm down 4lbs but some days it shows as only 1lb. I also missed making round 1 and am worried about round 2 as I haven't been at that weight in almost a year. I agree with everyone about Marking and tracking everything to show consistency, accountability, and knowledge on where you stand. I am so frustrated but know if I stop I will get no where, if I keep going I may not get to my ideal weight but ill be that much closer. And I don't want this weight to turn into having to lose more

Brit likes this comment.

Brit

Very true! Thanks!

Carol W.

03/23/2015 10:46AM

I have taken times off from dieting in my weight loss journey and it really helps. I try to maintain during those times. It makes it much easier to get back in and stick to the diet. I also switch up the diets I am using. It keeps it interesting and easier to keep doing. Good luck, I know that you can do this.

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Brit

Good idea. I think changing things up will help. Thanks!

Drew R

03/23/2015 9:18AM

Just wanted to say, you seem like a great person, and motivate others on here so I just wanted to help motivate you too. A lot of people i have coached over the years had trouble with the stress of constant dieting. Enjoy food, but I find a routine (boring) helps make dieting more autopilot, less stressful. If you are burnt out, cut out the workouts for a week, or crock pot the same healthy boring lunch all week. No decisions, anything to help your brain with homeostasis. Autopilot, keeps stress down. Anyway, i'm ranting, but persevere, it's a game you play just yourself, so be smarter and stronger each day, even through failures, you learn more, and as long as you don't give up, you get stronger/smarter and more able to "get to the next level" if you will. Then, define the next struggle you come across, and attack that until you succeed. A break is in no way a failure, if the break is what you need to move forward. ;) Best of luck!

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Drew R

03/23/2015 9:02AM

Hey Brit,You absolutely need a break! Losing weight is taxing on the body and mind. You have been going strong for several months and that will take its toll. The body really likes homeostasis and will do just about everything to keep it. One month or so easy weight loss and the body then says ok, 5% loss, whats happening, were dying, enough! Urges grow, fidgeting stops, water retains, hormones freak out, and the stresses of everyday life combo'd with the stress of eating less and change in general wears you thin. Eating maintenance level calories (still healthy foods) for 10 days (2100kcals or so) every 8-12 weeks goes a long way. Hormones return to normal in about 2 weeks, and the added endorphin's and lack of stress will give your mind more clarity. Then you can feel refreshed to make another push. Try going 10 lbs down, 1 week maintenance. Of course, 5 lb gain will happen, but long run better drops this way.

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ROBIN W.

Not to ramble on here, but the other thing I want to point out is that programs like Jillian's don't take into account the extreme importance of resting your muscles. So throw in some rest days - I find that adding a long walk or a lot of "steps" to my rest days can help stay on track if you don't like a complete day off, but you're still letting particular muscle groups get a break from intense stimulation. Let yourself recharge and your workouts will benefit from it.

Brit

Thanks! All great suggestions. :)

Cali

03/23/2015 8:27AM

Brit, I never would've known you were questioning yourself this way from all the encouraging posts you've written. Until I found dietbet, I only stayed on a diet until I hit a plateau and then went back to eating the old way and couldn't get back on track for months. I had those same voices asking ... what the hey? Is it worth giving up all that food and socializing? My reason for losing weight was an unintentionally mean comment that someone I love made on New Years Eve. I think we all have to find something that hits a nerve, whether it's that comment or a glance in the mirror or a health issue. I'm 58, and like Michigan, have realized that I don't want to be frumpy because inside I still feel very young. But it's damn hard to lose when you're older. I have always hated exercise but after forcing myself for 3 months, I kinda look forward to it every day. Take it one meal, one workout at a time. Stay here with us. You're in it, so let us drag you along to win it!

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Brit

Yes it is!! I am very thankful for the support from all of you! I think this was just a minor obstacle and I will be back on for the ride TODAY! Y'all are awesome! :)

Cali

That made me smile. :D

KristenB

03/23/2015 7:37AM

One thing that I find helps me stay stay consistent is to buy a cheap calendar and just X through every day that I stay on track. So I do this for a couple of things. I have a paper calendar where cross off every day I do not drink alcohol--not that that I was a huge drinker but I enjoy a glass of wine now and then--it was enough to derail my weight loss. I have a whiteboard monthly calendar where I X off the days that I work out. Am I really working about 4-5 days a week, or just two? Also I think it's worth figuring out a diet that really works for you. I have experimented a lot to find the calorie level and protein/carb/fat ratio that actually works for me. I have a low metabolism and a lot of diets (south beach, ww, vegan, paleo, juice fast,etc.) just flat out don't work or even make me gain weight. Finally, I really hate but have to accept the fact that I am going to have to do this for a YEAR or more to get to where I want to be. Good luck! You can do it, I know. :)

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Brit

I do the calendar thing too to mark off the days that I exercise. I put a little sticker for each day I exercise. I do find that helps a bunch. It's nice to see that I am staying on track. As far as dieting, I find that not eliminating certain food groups does not work for me. Counting calories works the best for me, but there are still days where that just goes out the window. My "off" days are becoming less frequent. I think the problem is like you said, it is difficult for me to realize that these changes are lifelong changes. Once I reach my goal weight, I can't go back to the lifestyle I was used to. It's difficult to accept, but I am hopeful that I will get there and it will become easier and hopefully for you as well. Thanks!