All or nothing?

Posted on February 22, 2016

I have a tendency to have these all or nothing ideas. When I want to change my lifestyle, I want to live super healthy from the second I start,- drinking water, eating lean and healthy, work out at least once a day, quit smoking..... It seems my health fanatic family and facebook friends also think I should feel that way! And the minute I stray from this plan, I feel like a failiure. Might as well give in, my brain says.

As I have said before, I constantly try to talk myself out of these rigid misconseptions, and now I feel I am in control.

I don't have to starve myself or exercise until I'm ready to pass out. I don't have to get fanatic about anything, even if I want a healthier life.

So, now I keep a few bad habits, to the extreme annoyance of the health fanatics in my surroundings. I eat sugar free sweets and have a sugar free soda from time to time. Once a week or so. It is not super healthy, and people are eager to make me stop, but I have decided that I will keep this indulgance until I am certain I am off the sugary counterparts.

I use salad dressings now and again. I know there are many calories there, but as long as I can count the calories and monitor my daily intake, I would rather eat salad with dressing than not eating salads. I know balsamico vinegar and olive oi is better, but I enjoy my creamy dressings so much, so every now and then I indulge in my favorite flavors.

I eat flavored yoghurts and muesli with honey or sugar too. I eat the real deal muesly and oatmeals, but I substitute caces and sweet desserts with no-no mueslis and flavored greek or icelandic yoghurts. And i am fully aware that those choices are not ideal, but guess what- I don't care! Some day I will not need those indulgances, but at this point They make a huge difference in the way I feel about my diet planning.

These few indulgances makes me feel I am not sacrificing anything, just making overall healthier choices. So why does people around me insist in giving me the same salad dressing advices for the two hundreded'th time?? Or telling me about the wonders of yoghurt au naturel? I know! I know it as well as them, I just chose to give myself a little leeway here! Why is that so painful to bear for somebody who is not me, and don't have to live my life? I know they make better choices, but I don't have to want the same. And really,- plain yogurt tastes awful!!

These indulganses gives me an ounce of sanity. The feeling that I don't have to let go of everything! If I can change to even better choices later, I will. But not now. And I am sick and tired about explaining it again and again. I will make a promise to myself: I don't have to justify my little cheats, I will just make the statement that this is my choice. Yes you aare right, but I have chosen not to listen!

I have also decided that a day of cheating or indulging does not destroy a healthy life choice. If all I can think of is an ice cream, I will have it,- on a chosen day that is not now. If I still want it by then, it is OK! If I can choose a frozen yoghurt instead of a full-fat ice cream on that day, it is even better. But I will not let my brain feel that all is lost over one lousy icecream in a month of otherwise healthy choices!

If a low fat yoghurt and some sugary muesly makes me feel like I am enjoying a cake, it is ok. It doesn't make my entire plan crumble and die. I don't have to do all or nothing, I just need to plan my little indulgances so that they don't occcur every day! And I do keep track of the calories. It is not a matter of all or nothing, it is a matter of better than nothing!

It is the same with exercise. I don't have to put in two hours every day, but if I choos to do a little more than I really want to, it is a lot better than doing nothing. And that is a choice I can live with. I am all in about turning my life around, but if I stray one degree east or west, I am not about to panic or give in. It is better than doing a full turn over and over. So that!

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RachelDee

02/23/2016 3:21PM

All or nothing attitude carried me all the way to 338 pounds. It wasn't even other people's expectations that got to me - just my own very messed up brain, but I am slowly letting go and what do you know I lost some weight without being perfect. I didn't even use a food scale (the horror!) :) It gives me hope to see you overcoming this struggle. Thank you for sharing!

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Kate L.

02/22/2016 1:44PM

Honestly people who are obsessive about eating super healthy all the time may be bordering on disordered eating. It is OK to have some "unhealthy" things sometimes. Nothing is truly unhealthy if you only eat it on occasion! It's only when the unhealthy things become the majority of what you eat that they are really that bad for you. Are you FEELING healthier and losing weight? Then what you are doing is healthy. I say prove 'em wrong. Ignore when they try to shame you for not following THEIR plan, and in the end when you've made your goals you'll have proven them their plan isn't the only one that works. You don't have to deprive yourself to be healthy.

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Ent

02/22/2016 5:01AM

I LOVE doing things perfectly, too, but I've learned that the MOST IMPORTANT thing is how we handle when we 'mess up' whatever our plan is. If I berate myself, I'll get worse and worse. So if you can create a plan that you can live with, that's half the battle! And if that plan is an IMPROVEMENT, woo hoo!!! Then you're making progress, and as long as you're making progress by making better choices, then you're successful! GREAT JOB deciding what works for you and how you want to do it and that you'll keep on improving along the way!!! Awesome!!! :)

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Lynne R.

02/22/2016 4:39AM

I agree totally!! It's easier and more realistic to make small changes every so often. If not it will feel like deprivation and who wants to sustain that? I think if a flavored yogurt is considered a cheat then you are doing well! :-)

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