Why am I going around in circles?

Posted on September 3, 2014

So, I've been doing dietbet since February I think. I love it and think it's great! I think it's completely motivating and rewarding and it's been the best thing ever for me! Unfortunately, I keep losing and gaining the same ten lbs. Why am I going around in circles?

Why do I do very well for a while, then I sabotage myself and gain a bunch back, then start the process over again?

I'm almost positive it's an eating disorder without a name....at least a name known to me. It's food addiction. It's some sort of self-damaging.... something or other.

I WANT to win. I WANT to succeed. So why am I consistenly working against myself?

Last night, I broke the cycle of late night eating, which is a habit I've stopped and started and stopped again for years and years. I was really busy tonight and wasn't even tempted. Hoping it makes a difference in the last week and a half of this round.

Anyone else struggling this way as well? Anyone able to explain to me WHY I just keep going around in the same darn circles, over and over again? Am I afraid of what will happen if I actually lose weight? Could I seriously be that ridiculous?

I'm sure I could be.

I have to break this cycle. I have goals...and I can't seem to gain any ground on them. I want to lose a set amount of weight. I want to break free of the medications I have to take because my eating and lifestyle are not what they should be. I want to break free of the mental shackles of feeling like an ugly fat girl.

I NEED to make this work.

Comment Now!

Maria P.

09/04/2014 8:11AM

I do struggle too...heck, I weigh more than 100 lbs since you last saw me in person...perhaps it is fear...fear of the unknown, being 'the fat girl' is a role that you are used to, it is hard to change...doing some reflection to figure out the 'why' can be helpful. It is easy to list the benefits: feel better, lose some medication with the weight, etc.

Seriously, my 'logic' for a while was 'I like my boobs when they are bigger, and if I lose weight, the boobs will go with it...do I really want to go from a DD/DDD to a B/C again?!' Yeah, totally stupid reasoning...but it 'worked' for me for a while you know? God knows it is much easier to just keep doing what we're doing and not make changes, but change is difficult. <3

Chris V

09/04/2014 6:28AM

Hi Kim,
Don't feel alone. I go through the same cycles at time. In fact, during the weekend I got within 6/10th of a pound of my round 2 target, but since then I've gained 2 lbs back. The last couple of days I've been stressed at work and I do know that I eat (and eat badly) when I am stressed. I guess that's why they call it "comfort food", but we both know that comfort is short lived, so I'm determined that I will lose that 2 lbs and the other that I need to lose in order to meet my round 2 goal.

Hang in there! You can do it! We're all learning through this process, but if we keep at it then hopefully it will become a new way of life and we'll all be successful!!

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Kristin W.

09/03/2014 8:28PM

Hi Kim! I too go around in circles with the same thing. I find an excuse for everything I put in my mouth, and so I lose weight only to gain it back again. I don't understand the self sabotage, but maybe surrounding yourself with like-minded people will help. I have learned that the worst thing you can do for yourself is fluctuate your weight. I am going to try to keep this in mind, as well as Melissa's theology: your body is the vehicle driving you through life. I don't want to be 60 and taking meds for preventable disease. The good thing is that you have taken the first step, every day after just keep taking small steps. Im rooting for you!

Kristin

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Kathe

09/03/2014 8:26PM

Kim, I haven't played that many games (this is my third) but I know what you mean. I won the first one and lost the second, and now I'm starting my third game at a higher weight than my first one. Stay strong...we can do this together!

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