Instability or stability

Posted on September 11, 2014

For the past week, I've been struggling - mainly with nutrition. Work has been busy with some long days and late nights and a busy weekend making it impossible to plan and grocery shop as I should. Last weekend was filled with a riding clinic and some volunteer work. While the volunteer work was fulfilling, the riding clinic was a very interesting experience. The clinician has an extensive background with the Feldenkrais Method which she applies to both horse and rider. Never heard of the method? Here's a link to a blurb about it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feldenkrais_Method

The horse I took to the clinic, Honabe, is a 14 year old green bean, meaning she's not had a whole lot of experience or training under saddle. Or in her case, even that much experience going new places off the farm by herself. We got to the clinic location early to give her a chance to look around and mellow out. It helped some but she didn't really get to that I'm comfortable here place in her head before my ride time. With the clinician - W for short - watching, I took Honabe to the mounting block to get on. Standing quietly for that was NOT on her agenda at that moment. W wanted to know if she was always that way for mounting. Sometime she's quiet about it but much more often she's not.

W decides she wants to do something with the mare before we get to the riding part. She goes out to her car and comes back with a bin of colorful cushion thingies. As I'm telling her a bit more about the mares history, W pulls out a small green one, picks up the left front foot, slides the cushion under it then steps back a bit to see how Honabe deals with it. Unbalancing her had all sorts of physical effects - throwing her head up and left for balance being the primary ones. But more importantly, were also the mental/emotional effects as her feet no long had the same relationship with the ground or each other. When she walked off the pad, it was interesting to see the mare thinking about the foot that had been raised and how she was using it to interact with the ground. W worked with the green pad under the front feet for a couple minutes before going to the blue (softer) ones. As Honabe shifted from foot to foot, her head came down, her eyes got soft, she started blinking her eyes and licking her lips - all signs of her energy level/emotions coming down and going into a more relaxed state.

A few minutes with the blue pads and it was time to mount up. Honabe was like a different horse. She walked up to the mounting block and quietly stood there while I got on. She did have to walk off quickly to get her balance, but I didn't feel like she was a powder keg that might go off as I have on some rides earlier this year. We spent most of the rest of the time working with the blue pads, letting Honabe experiment in finding a different way to move while discussing some of the riding challenges I'd been having with the mare and why/where those challenges originated.

If you've hung with me this long, I'm finally going to get to the point ... I think. :) Honabe started that lesson in a state of imbalance. She only knew one way to move and react. By the end of the lesson, she had spent a lot of time processing how she related to her environment physically, mentally and emotionally. That one session wasn't enough to get her to let go completely of her old patterns of instability, but it is a start.

Me? I feel a lot like how I think Honabe was feeling. Being over weight, I'm in a state of imbalance and want to find stability and balance within myself. I do find those moments when all the parts come together and I am able to make significant progress on my weight loss journey. But then it is like someone sticks a new kind of pad under my foot, unbalancing me ... again. All the piece fly apart so that I have to figure out how to gather them together finding a new level of stability and balance by learning new interactions between nutrition, rest, exercise, mindset, emotions, etc. I've a long way to go on my weight loss journey and hope that I can turn instability into stability, letting go of my old patterns with the same willingness to change and progress as my horse.

For those who are curious, yes, I've invested in a set of blue cushion thingies to help Honabe continue on her journey to find a different way to move and interact with me. Who knows, I might even stand on those cushions myself as a reminder of what it is I'm trying to accomplish.

So where are you? Stable/balanced or unstable/unbalanced? At the beginning, middle, end of your journey?

Comment Now!

Lou

10/20/2014 8:25PM

Thanks for letting us into your life, and sharing! What a wonderful story. What a comparison of Honabe, trying a blue cushion and trying something new and learning new way to find balance in one's life. With anything in the beginning is the hardest to start something one isn't familiar with. But, once we build our confidence, keep trying we get better. Currently, I'm working on finding the strength within me like you had said, "...then it is like someone sticks a new kind of pad under my foot, unbalancing me ... again. All the piece fly apart so that I have to figure out how to gather them together finding a new level of stability and balance by learning new interactions between nutrition, rest, exercise, mindset, emotions, etc."

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Chrissy

10/09/2014 9:01AM

I love this ......it's more then just losing the unwanted weight.....we need to find the right balance ...get off the Yoyo's of dieting.... Be honest with our selfs ..... Only then can we reach our goals. I'm just starting my journey & this is the best mindset I have ever been in. Thanks for sharing ;)

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Michel Grutter

09/17/2014 4:36AM

This is a fantastic analogy! I find that in order to really move forward we need to get in that bit of uncomfortable state. Right now I am feeling a little too comfortably balanced and know my body will be challenging me again soon - but I am really enjoying the state I am in now. I hope I will remember this and imagine my next challenge as a pillow. Thanks again!!!

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SusyQ

09/13/2014 7:27AM

Great food for thought, CeAnn. This weight loss journey is a constant balancing act. :-)

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Lynda H.

09/12/2014 5:15AM

Great post, CeAnn ! I need some pads for myself right now as I'm more than a bit unbalanced at the moment. Thanks for giving me a new way of thinking about it--and for any post that's 'horsey'!

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DCGirl

09/11/2014 4:37PM

This really spoke to me, CeAnn, thank you! There is one perk to binge catching up with all of the missed posts... I am seeing a pattern, we are all struggling. Rut? Boredom? Whatever the case, we will get through this! Keep writing, please! :)

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Julie G.

09/11/2014 1:07PM

I love this post, CeAnn! There is always some monkey wrench being thrown at me (or pad being put under my foot!) that throws me off balance. Ditto to what Phoenix said about balance and imbalance affecting all parts of life, not just health/weight. I'm at a stable/balanced point right now, and trying to fully take advantage of it before the next unstable/unbalanced period!

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Susie D.

09/11/2014 12:03PM

CeAnn, that was so interesting. Love how you drew me right in, and even though I haven't the faintest idea about horses, I knew exactly what you were talking about. Then you brought Hornabe's experience clear around to our weight loss journeys. You are a very thoughtful, gifted writer.

After home drama has settled, I am finally getting some balance back in my journey, with some positive movement in the scale and measuring tape and added weights for lifting, routines going back to normal with school starting. Until the next wallup or surprise or whatever comes along to knock me off balance. I am nearly smack dab in the middle of my journey, having lost 45 lbs, with 50 more to go.

Good luck Honabe! We're with you, girl!
Oh, and you too, CeAnn ;o)

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Phoenix

09/11/2014 11:30AM

Very thoughtful CeAnn. It's been years since I did the Feldenkrais Method and had never given it much thought that it could be used for horse and rider. Since I've been dealing with my own movement disorder since January, I know the challenges it poses to to find the cause then relearn and rewire the neurological pathways for stability and balance.

Personally, in this moment I feel I am in a stable and balanced place. And as I learned long ago that is only a temporary resting spot until the next opportunity for healing on whatever level arrives. The journey is really about building our "core" or finding our center so we can ride whatever cause those waves of imbalance in our lives. If it's not weight or health, it can be relationships or finances. So I always feel like I'm in the middle of my journey. The day I reach the end, not only is it the end of a chapter, but the end of this particular life story.

So I embrace life in all it's imperfections.

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