My struggle: It's All or Nothing

Posted on November 18, 2014

I seem to have an all or nothing attitude about my diet. Either I am mentally in the right spot: motivated, counting calories and actively losing, or I am not motivated, not regularly weighing, and am eating the wrong things or too much of the right things.

It seems like there is a constant battle between the me who wants to be healthy and trim, and the other me that wants to be lazy about my diet and just eat whatever and however much with no worries. They can't both win and the lazy me usually wins and so I put on weight.

If there is a big trip on the horizon, I can get into the diet mindset and can really be good about my diet, count calories, exercise regularly and lose pounds. But then during the trip, my reward is the mindless eating that I love. And once the vacation is over, I just keep doing that and it's hard to get back in diet mode.

There are lots of people who say, "It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle." I know they are right but I haven't figured out how to make that work for me because of this all-or-nothing outlook. You can't eat healthy all of the time and you can't chuck your diet out the window just because you have made one (or several) bad choices. But the all-or-nothing me says I have blown it.

This is also true of portion control, with the all-or-nothing mindset, if I'm not counting calories and aware of exactly how much I have consumed, then I might as well eat the whole box. I think the mindless nibbling and refusal to portion things out when I am stressed is my biggest dietary downfall.

I'm not sure how to adopt this "it's a lifestyle" approach and squash my all-or-nothing attitude and learn how to make compromises so I can get off the up/down diet rollercoaster and reach and maintain my best weight for life.

Anybody have any tips? If so, please share!!! Thank you.

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Art

07/28/2017 6:55AM

Thank you for the thoughtful blog! I wrestle with the same things, and I have a few tips and thoughts in return.First, the tips - I actually use MyFitnessPal to plan out my days calories. I eat pretty much the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day, and very similar stuff every evening - I'm not a cook so I generally use pre-packaged salads and healthy frozen food meals. This also is a real boon for portion control, since if you buy a 300 calorie dinner, there you are, there isn't 100 extra calories lying around.Now the philosophy - If you have food cravings/addictions/emotional eating like myself, I don't really think you can have a "balanced approach" to food. We wouldn't suggest a heroin addict can have "just a little now and again" and then get back to being clean. I think as a food addict, if I choose to lose weight and get healthy, I also have to choose to get to a place in my life where I eat the healthy stuff I've planned to eat, I take some small pleasure in it, but food becomes a really minor part of my life and I just never, never get to experience the joy of the addictive junk food I crave. It's a monk's attitude toward food, that the goal requires sacrificing this particular part of your life.Just my 2 cents.

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Lori M.

11/20/2014 3:28PM

You are not alone. This is so me as well! My biggest fear is once I've lost the weight going back to my old habits, because I do love the tasty food that is bad for me. It's like there is a switch inside of me and it's either on or off. I'm really hoping that they have the Maintenance Bet going in the near future. Because once I'm at goal I really think I'm going to need that to keep this weight off for good.

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Beckys-Getting-Fit

11/19/2014 7:21AM

These are some good tips, guys. I really appreciate it. I will try picking one healthy thing to make a lifelong habit and work on it until it is ingrained before choosing a new one. I think just knowing I have this wrongheaded outlook and being aware of it, is a good first step in reversing it when I sense that I am doing it.

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Frae

11/19/2014 12:36AM

I agree with everyone here: the lifestyle change comes bit by bit. I knew it was for every day, not just till the end of the diet - BUT WHO WANTS TO LIVE LIKE THAT. Then I traded out one little habit at a time. We're pretty healthy now, but it took 5 years or so.

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DJ134

11/18/2014 6:54PM

Becky, that is just what I have been thinking- and also Rebekah- I SOOO identify! You would think I know what to do (I have a foods and nutrition degree), but it starts in our heads. Knowledge helps, but that isn't the whole answer. Doing small changes and cementing them in as habits until you don't think of it- you just do it-which is your good healthy habits. I agree it is one day at a time (one meal at a time) and sometimes one moment at a time.

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Rebekah Y.

11/18/2014 6:37PM

The lifestyle approach happens one day at a time. You can't try to completely re-invent yourself overnight. That would only bring failure. It's about changing one thing at a time. Once you stick with that one thing, add something else to the mix. I wrote a blog about a plan my coworkers and I are doing that might help you. I was in the same boat as you. It seemed like as soon as I started getting noticed for losing weight, some alarm would go off in my head that told me it's time to slack off again. For some reason I used to listen to it all the time. Now I know what I need to do and realize that I'll get to my goal eventually. I know that it won't be any easier even after I get to my goal. It'll just change. Instead of exercising to lose weight, I'll be exercising to maintain. But it's really all about little steps that get you in a routine. One day at a time. :-)

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