Lose weight the fun way.

So anyone who has ever tried to lose weight has had that one or many who just didn't want you to change. Lets first look at the definition of Sabotager

Sabotager: The deliberate destruction of property or obstruction of normal operations, as by civilians of ENEMY AGENTS in a time of WAR.

The DELIBERATE attemt to DAMAGE, DESTROY, or HINDER a cause or activity.

I have had friends who I was friends to but, when sitting back and looking over the course of the "Friendship" came to realize that it was not a friendship both ways. I've said goodbye to many people over the course of the last few years as I have embarked on my personal wellness journey. It's never an easy choice to save yourself well, not for me. I grew up watching people take care of other people so I came accustomed to sometimes unheathy relationships. My big self question is, "what do you do when those unhealthy sabotagers are family members?"

Yup one of my biggest sabatagers is my mom. My older sister and I never had a weight issue growing up. Mom was forever on weight watchers and I think as kids she was always aware of what we were eating. However being kids born in the late 50's (my sister) and I in the early 60's we spent most of our chirldhood outside. Back in the day you played hard sunrise to sunset. We were never in house unless the weather was so bad we couldn't play in the snow or rain. It wasn't until we had kids that we devloped poor food management and weight issues. My mom had long let go of her lifetime weight watchers achivements. She took comfort I believe, in the fact that she had fat company in her children. Our activity became sunday dinners at moms when the movement was fork to mouth. Holidays were full of sweets and yummy goodness. It became routine.

Here we are 50 years later overweight, out of shape and all tho my sister and mom have made peace with that fact,I have not. However; when my sister took on the challenge a few years ago to lose 100lbs on her own I paid attention to the family dynamics and to MY MOM. I listen to the negitive talk and watched the attemts of Sabotage. My sister made a choice to go back to work with my mom in the same office and I told her it would be a mistake, a year later she put the 100lbs +back on.

Today I head to New Hampshire with my mom to visit my daughter and grandson and I know I have to arm myself. I have to pack my food so when she makes the comment to stop at McDonalds I can stop for her but I have my own food to eat. I need to have a bottle of water with me so when she offers to by me a soda I can decline. I have to wear my suit of armor so that when comments are made about how much money I waist paying for a trainer it bounces off. I love my mom but MAN what do you do when your mom is the biggest Sabotager in your life. YOu can't remove your mom from your life.

I have come to realize that her behavior is born from her own lack of motivation, motivation she once had and was sucuessful at putting into motion so it's also born out of frustration. I know that it is not thrown at me out of hatefulness. She's living in her own struggle and because she is my mom I will carry on and continue to motivate myself like she once did and showed me how succeed at goals you set for yourself and maybe she will find her motivation back through me as I once found through her.

I have two daughters and I don't ever want to put them in a place where they feel I am the enemy of thier goals.

truando

01/27/2015 3:31PM

ultimately we're all responsible for our own decisions and our way of life. I see your points and sympathise with them, but you have to live your life. Sometimes we give our parents too much power. They are powerful, but maybe less than we think.Good thing you're not giving in and taking your life into your own hands. You will succeed, I am sure of that.

Travis

01/15/2015 10:03AM

My wife made a switch to 100% Raw Vegan lifestyle a few years ago, and it was literally a life saver for her. However, she experienced the Mom and sister saboteurs too. You see they are constantly dieting and working out but going nowhere towards their goals, Amy (my wife) made 1 change and 1 change only and that was to consume only raw fruits and vegetables. She lost all of her (baby weight) and has remained a constant 120 lbs since. But her sister and mom continued to bombard her with negativity. She would complain to me about it almost daily. I finally told her that they were not intentionally trying to sabotage her, but, were more just shocked that your one simple change seemed so outlandish and hard to them and that she accomplished something in a few short months that they have fought for years are continually struggling with. So what can we do about our saboteurs? be positive and know that we are living examples. Keep up the good work.

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