My story is a long one. I've had many ups and downs with weight since my car accident in 2003.
Before my car accident, I was an athlete when I was a child and teen. I played basketball as a child, I ran track, and I played softball. Softball was my main love as far as sports go. I was in the marching band too. I never realized until I got older how much effort and fitness that takes to march and play the saxophone (I played alto and tenor and think I only marched with my alto one or two years in high school). I was the average skinny girl all through school. I was actually about 110-115 my freshman year. After I got a little older I settled into about 120-130 I would say in high school. I was about 5’6” then. The older I got the less of the sports I played, but again the marching band kept me fit.
When I went to college, I worked at a fast food restaurant and was busy studying all the time and the sports and exercise ended. However, after my first 2 years of college, I was still around 140-145. I was more like 5’7” then, so this weight was fine. All of my clothes from high school still fit, and the new clothes I was buying were all the same size.
Then, after my second semester of my second year of college right after I graduated with my first Associates Degree and was planning to transfer to a larger school to finish my studies in Psychology, but my world came to a screeching halt. I was in a car accident 6 days before my 20th birthday. Both of my lungs fully collapsed and I had to be on a ventilator for about 2 weeks. I had a grade 4 (most severe level) liver laceration, and a tear in my aorta. I could not have surgery on my aorta as which was normal protocol because of my liver injury. I would have bled out during surgery, so they decided to just keep an eye on the tear and see if it needed surgery if my liver got better. I still to this day haven’t had surgery on my aorta, and the yearly follow up visits to the trauma Doctor showed that it was perfectly normal again. I had 7 fractured ribs and a fractured shoulder too. I also had a skull fracture and brain contusions. When I say I am lucky to be alive, you have no idea. I am slowly working on a book describing my experiences during this Near Death Experience, and some of the medical issues I have had since then and how my faith and beliefs have been a wonderful grounding tool for me. I am already making this much longer than it needs to be, so I will move on.
I miraculously recovered from this accident, and after 2.5 weeks. Well enough to be moved from the hospital to a rehabilitation hospital. I was in the rehabilitation hospital for 2 weeks, and then was returned home. I continued some therapies as an outpatient for a year. One of them was the PT that I completed with the sports trainer at my chiropractor’s office. My chiropractor and the trainer were my real life savers after well the medical Doctor’s worked a miracle on me in ICU. When I first made it to the rehabilitation hospital, my weight was 135. I had lost 5-10 pounds from the accident which being immobile and on a feeding tube for a couple of weeks, it’s no wonder. After my PT with the trainer, I was still 135. I was in the best shape of my life after I finished my PT.
I wasn’t able to transfer schools, because I was still doing outpatient therapy when I started back to college, so I stayed home and went back to the same college as before and I completed another Associates Degree in 2005 and a Bachelor’s Degree in 2006 from the same school – West Virginia University at Parkersburg.
Somewhere in there after I finished my PT, my primary Doctor thought I was depressed, so he started me on an anti-depressant. From the anti-depressant in 2004-2005 I gained about 65 pounds. Looking back I don’t really think I was depressed, I think I was stressed out because I had been going through so much trying to get my life back and catch up on my schooling, to get my future in order. I started working as a case manager for people with Developmental Disabilities in 2006 following earning my Bachelor’s Degree. I also started working on my Master’s Degree at Capella University Online. After getting up to about 200 pounds in a year in 2005 though, I had asked for the medicine to be changed. It was changed and I lost down to about 165-170 by 2006.
However, in 2007, I got mono in January, had pneumonia in February, took 2 rounds of anti-biotics for the pneumonia. I had gone back to work with mono and pneumonia, and was leaving work one day that my chest had just kept hurting really badly. It felt like my lung was about to explode every time I stood up from my desk. I went to the ER that night in hopes of getting more medicine for the pneumonia. However, at this visit, they found a blood clot in my lung or a pulmonary embolism. I was hospitalized at this point for a little over 2 weeks. I was off work again for a couple of months. I felt better in the month of May that year I remember. By this time I was down to 150ish again.
Then in June 2007, I started vomiting after every time I ate. I felt really bad all the time and my chest hurt often. It felt like I was having a heart attack. I repeatedly went to the ER worried about my lungs (oh I had found out after my blood clot that I have a genetic abnormality that makes my blood more likely to clot). No one could find any answers. This went on until August, when my Doctor finally thought to have my gallbladder checked. Bingo, this was the culprit, so I had it removed at the end of August and was out of work for another few weeks. I was still pretty sick after the surgery for awhile too.
During this time, I was really starting to get depressed. I kept asking myself why was I meant to live after my car accident if I am always going to be this sick all the time. It just didn’t make sense, and I had gotten pretty low. My Doctor referred me to a Psychiatrist who then piled more and more medications on me over time. I got down to 130-135 shortly after my gallbladder surgery and stayed there for a little while. However the Psychiatrist and his nurse were telling me I couldn’t lose anymore that I was almost too thin. I was somewhere around 5’8” then which is what I am now. I have measured this height the last 2 times I have been to my regular Doctor, so I guess that’s what I was then.
Anyway, the meds were always changing and the weight started creeping back up. I lost complete control of who I was, what I was doing, or even what I was thinking. I would just sit and stare for hours and I was a complete zombie. I had a complete lack of affect, and I was in one big daze. I don’t even remember what all really went on during that time. I know I got married in there. It was a total disaster. I gained all the weight back and was up to 200 pounds again, and I told the Psychiatrist that this had to stop. I couldn’t function.
He didn’t support my idea, so I went off the meds slowly on my own at home. When I came out of my drug induced stupor, I separated from my husband and we got divorced. I started exercising a little and eating better around September 2009.
Then my best friend introduced me to a guy she worked with. He and I were perfect together, but I wasn’t looking for another relationship so soon after what I had went through, so we just remained friends for about 7 months. We talked every day and went out with friends a couple times a month, and just really got to know each other. We have been dating almost 5 years now. We are still great together, we are so much alike and he is so supportive of me in every day.
I also started losing the weight around September 2009. I had gotten really tired of being in really tight size 16s and my mom’s 18’s were fitting better, but I didn’t want to wear them. I had a few pants that were 17’s which didn’t seem quite as bad, but they were. I started eating better and getting some exercise and started going to the gym again. I got down to about 150 by around July 2010.
I stayed around 150-156 for the most part up until 2013. I would occasionally go to 160, then I would lose 5-10 pounds again. For my height at 5’8” I was pretty normal size and weight. I was comfortable, and most of my clothes fit. I would have liked to have gotten to 135 again, but it wasn’t a huge deal.
Yet in 2013, I had surgery in January to remove some Endometriosis and adhesions from inside my belly. The Doctor found a large Endometrioma on one of my ovaries and tried to pop it in hopes it would drain out. I gained maybe to 165-170 after this, but fluctuated back down some too. In the summer, I went to see this Doctor again and the Endometrioma was still there and had gotten bigger. In September 2013, she had to fully open up my belly to remove the cyst and one of my ovaries and tubes.
After this surgery, it took me longer than I expected to get up and moving again. One of my dogs got really sick and died during this time too, so I just kind of lost all motivation for caring for myself for awhile. I didn’t pay any attention to what I ate, and I ate almost all junk. I didn’t get any exercise either. I got back up to 185. Then, in April 2014, I bought a fitbit, and I got really excited about walking more and tracking my food again and losing weight again. I got down to 170, but then when summer hit and babysitting my niece a lot, I didn’t take the time to eat well or get any exercise. Then went on family vacations and trips and ate like a pig out of town. I stopped logging food or caring again and was not getting any exercise.
However, in November of 2014, I don’t know why or how but I woke up one day and decided to start doing this and to stick to it this time. I started with using my fitbit and setting lower attainable goals and making goals for 30 days at a time and then plans to increase goals after meeting them for 30 days in a row. Then, I learned about DietBet. I was informed of one that started right after Thanksgiving. I decided to join, and I ended up joining 3 and a 6 month one all starting from the end of November into the very beginning of December. When I did my first weight in for DB, I realized I had already lost 4 pounds that month from 183.6-179.6. I found DietBet so motivating and supportive, and it just makes me look forward to doing my exercises and eating more fruit and making better choices. I won my first 3 DietBets and my Round 1 of that 6 month one and started 3 more in January and another 6 month one.
Side note: My other dog got really sick and died on December 23, 2014. This was another devastating loss, but all of my weigh-outs started right after this, so I started exercising through my grief this time instead of eating it like I did with losing my other one the year before. I used to eat through my grief, and lots of junk food at that. However, I think I am starting to turn to Yoga the most when I feel stressed out or feel grief. I think Yoga is the perfect thing for me. It seems to sync with my faith really well too.
So far, I have met my 6 month Round 2 goal and my 6 month Round 1 goal this month. I am not sure if I will make my goals for my DB4s yet or not, but I am trying. I was feeling really discouraged these past couple of weeks because the scale has been stuck. However, when I stop and look at my profile and see that I have lost over 8% since I started DietBet and know I lost 2% in November right before I joined DB, it helps me remember it’s not always about winning the money. It’s about winning my health and control of my body.
I know what I am doing is working for me, so I see no reason to ever stop this time. I am not saying I will never eat junk food again, or never over-eat my calories again. I am sure there will be days or weeks (vacations) when I will. However, there is no way I am going to let it get so out of control that I gain 10s & 20s and 30s of pounds again. If I have my spurge days or weeks, I will start right back on eating what’s better again the next day or next week. I will continue to do my exercises. I really love walking, Yoga and my AeroPilates Reformer.
I started the c25k app, and was even starting to work on jogging a little bit, but I think I have decided to save that for spring into summer. I do not have the room to jog inside right now and it’s too cold outside. I will continue with building up my step-count and doing my Yoga and AeroPilates for strengthening for now. When it does get warmer and I start adding in the c25k app for cardio, I think I may meet my goal by the end of the summer. My goal is 135.
However, I have also determined I think that anywhere from 135-145 would be optimal. I was really fine at 150-155 before, but I would like to take it a bit farther this time and stick with it instead of stopping because I think I’m “fine”. That is what I did last time. I stopped because I knew I was fine. I was a healthy normal weight, so I just lost motivation to keep going. This time I want to keep going as far as my body will go. I want to be as fit and healthy as I can be. I truly believe that living through the things I have lived through in my 20s, I am meant to do everything I can to be as healthy as I can be. I am 31 now (will be 32 in June).
These last 11.5 years have been very trying. I forgot to mention I started having issues when I was 27 or 28 and was finally diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis too around age 29. The initial diagnosis was fibromyalgia, but they kept testing for RA. When the RA was found, the Rhuematologist started giving me medication for RA. The medication really helps really well, but I have days where it hurts to walk on my feet, or to use my hands or some of my joints. I feel it a lot in my ribs this time of year. I think that is because of the rib fractures and collapsed lungs I have had and the pneumonia I have had twice (2004 and 2007).
Anyway, my faith is grounded in nature, the elements and the natural world. Nature shows us that things come and go. There is a balance to everything. Everything is cyclical also. If we can get through something bad, something better will come along soon. Right now in this part of my life, I am meant to get as healthy as I can. I need to just keep moving and make sure I am always grateful to be here. I think positive thinking and positive self-talk are very important. I have not been doing a very good job of this lately, but I have been trying at least. I often find myself asking my spirit guides for help to steer me in the right direction to make the right choices. For the most part it works. Honestly, when I think of eating a cookie, or something too salty, I hear this little voice inside my head that reminds me of the sugar or salt content and how my body has been retaining water right now and I make choose some pineapple or strawberries or something better instead.