Hello :) I'm Stace. My friends call me Stae (rhymes with Faye).

 

Being in denial about my weight gain, avoiding cameras and avoiding mirrors has had a major part, I believe, in my excessive weight gain. 

When I was 17 - 19 I was in love with exercise and my very healthy lifestyle. Over the years stress and emotional distress has lead me to giving up on myself. I don't remember the last time I wore makeup. I wear it once, maybe twice a year now. I used to not leave the house without a bit of makeup on. I've sort of got a point of 'what's the point?' which isn't cool. I see lots of larger women with make up on who look lovely, but I just am stuck between laziness and lack of confidence. 

 

I no longer fit in any of my 'nice' clothes, and again, in denial about my size I stick to elasticared skirts and leggings, with a cardigan. To say my self esteem has been low in recent years would be an understatement. 

 

I've had counselling and am on medication for OCD, depression and severe anxiety, agorophobia. I'm finally feeling i'm at a place to focus on getting back to  a healthy lifestyle (not diet, but lifestyle, like the old me). 

 

I turned 31 on Sunday (19th feb) and I want this year to be such a positive change for me. I finally learnt the point in my childhood where  my comfort/emotional eating began and now know when I first turned to food for comfort. Unfortunately it's something i've struggled with my whole life. Even when I was clean eating for well over four years, i'd binge on healthy foods. 

I'm curently re reading a brilliant book on comfort eating and although the past few weeks i've been stressed (buying our first home) and the easter eggs everywhere in the shops which I can't seem to resist all the time, I've well and truly negelected myself and everything I have learnt.

 

 I haven't eaten meat in over a year (for health, environmental and ethical reasons)... but I have to admit I've gained about a stone since I've stopped eating meat. Completely my own fault though, as I have eaten too much wholemeal bread! Something I avoided when I was a meat eater. If you're considering going pescatarian, vegetarian or vegan please don't let me put you off. It's the binge eating that's caused me to continue to consistantly gain weight. That and lack of exercise and motivation. I do suffer from quite severe lethargy, and part of that is due to taking medication at the wrong time (If i accidentally take it too late in the evening, the next day i'm like a zombie). 

 

I'm now trying to find a healthy balance, and I do not intend to go back to eating meat. I am trying to cut out dairy entitely, and that's been a little challenging so far. 

 

Exercise, oh wow, something I used to love, and genuinely enjoy. I'd go swimming, then for a 3 mile bike ride and a 5 mile run all before work or uni. Now I can barely make it up the stairs without getting out of breath. I get so annoyed at myself whenever I exercise as it's a reminder how much i've let myself go. I hope to get over this and accept that only I can change this and it will be a journey to get back to the level of exercise I used to do, and maybe even surpass it. 

 

I have an instagram at @sow_grow_glow and a blog at sowgrowglow[dot]com  if you check them out, please do say 'hi'. 

 

I look forward to seeing everyone on their journey, so far you guys have been so inspiring and I love the community and how everyone encourages each other. 

 

- Stace x