I went camping (in an RV) with my family for 5 days. I wanted to be prepared so I made some healthier things to munch on since I knew there would be temptations at every turn. I made dark chocolate bark with dried cranberries, cashews and pumpkin seeds as well as Gluten Free Peanut Butter Protein bites. I even brought my Vitamix to make sure I made green smoothies. I found out the camp ground had a gym and I made a workout schedule. Plus we were walking EVERYWHERE so I knew I would hit at least 10,000 steps a day. I cut 3 huge bags of lettuce and romaine from the garden to insure I had at least 1 salad a day. I covered all of my bases. I planned and prepped. I was prepared.
We left Wednesday. My husband and I had to drop our dog off at the kennel by 9am and I was running on about 4 hours of sleep because the chaos and panic of packing the night before so there was no time for a green smoothie before we left. In my mind, this was ok . I would just pop 2 or 3 PB Protein Bites and an apple and I would be good until we got there. It was only a 3 hour trip.
1.5 hours in and I was STARVING. I just had another PB Bite and a piece of Dark Chocolate bark. I wasn't going crazy yet, so I felt good.
We arrived at the camp ground right before lunch. Out came the white bread ( White bread toast is my kryptonite - the smell of the toaster, the glistening butter - it weakens me ) the cheese, the crackers, The lunch meat, chips, dip, bacon, mayo and the list goes on.
I pulled out the salad and filled my plate right away. This way nothing else would fit. I added a bit a chicken, some seeds and nuts, a little cheese and some random veggies that we had in the fridge. I was satisfied but, before I knew it the words "hey, pass me a couple chips" slipped out of my lips. A couple chips turned into a few more -- and a graham cracker -- and a soda-- and a rice crispy treat-- and some spread cheese on a few crackers.
Once finished, I was soooo full but, I didn't beat myself up or anything. I knew my choices would impact my goal but, I said tomorrow is another day and I will do better. I had a balanced dinner and only one s'more that night. I was feeling ok with my day even though I didn't say on the track I had planned for myself.
The Next morning I took a long walk and chased my 4 year old niece all over creation. Yay Exercise! I skipped my smoothie, not so smart. We went shopping! - love shopping. We got a soda - eh. We had lunch , with a small salad, a hot dog some chips and my sister just wanted me to try her cookies. I had one. And another, and another. I drank 7 bottles of water to try and drown the old habits my mouth was getting me into. Didn't work.
By the end of the night I was drinking juice and soda and beer. I can't even remember what or how much I ate for dinner that night. I just remember thinking that my salads were getting smaller and smaller until I wasn't eating any vegetables at all.
My Vitamix saw no action the entire trip.
Oh and by the way, Amusement parks and their flat rate never ending soda cups are evil! and I am pretty sure I should own stock in Hershey's and Lindt with the amount of chocolate I ate.
What happened?! How did I go from doing so good for a solid month to this?
My family tries to help and be supportive but, they are also the first ones to bust out the chips and candy and say " You can just have a little, you don't want to restrict yourself too much " and I fall for it every time!
I also had to buy ... dare I say it...a bathing suit on this trip. It was horrific to say the least. It made me feel like the 9.4 lbs I lost and was so proud of myself for, made no difference. I almost let it get me down but, I said HELL NO! I LOST 9.4LBS HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND. Yet somehow I couldn't stop eating. It's like the whole trip was a blur.
I got home on Sunday and got so stressed and overwhelmed. I couldn't stop thinking about how I didn't follow through on any of my goals for this trip and next thing you know I had ordered a pizza and fettuccini alfredo while my husband was sleeping. Luck for me, my husband woke up when the food got delivered. He said 'why did you order food?' and it was like everything snapped back into place. ' I don't know ' was the only answer I had because I really had no Idea why I had done it.
I took a deep breath. I did eat a slice of that pizza and measured out a 1/2 cup of pasta to eat with my salad but, sent the rest to work with the hubby. I didn't need the temptation in my house staring me down.
I was too nervous to step on the scale this morning. I am back on track but, I still don't feel like I have control. I need some inspiration and to find away to break this hold food has over me.