I weigh a lot more than you do: 298 (and that's DOWN from my highest weight, which was 330). I deserve to be happy, EVEN while I'm fat, and no one can convince me otherwise.Is there a trick to loving this one and only body you've got? This one and only life? I'm not sure. But I know that your family would probably think I'm disgusting, and at 49, I've gotten over caring. I'm too busy living my life and trying to make all of it happy and beautiful. I have a fantastic job that I love and where I make a difference in other people's lives, I have good friends and a great husband, and I look forward to doing more good in the world and enjoying my life more whether I'm successful in my weight loss journey or not. You might find this interesting podcast on weight and shame interesting or helpful: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat?act=2#play, although it might be too "out there" for where you are in your journey right now.I do hope you can find a way to feel deserving. I suspect there are things about you that are much more important than your weight. When you're on your death bed, will you really be thinking--negatively or positively--about how much you weighed? I hope there will be other things that will matter more.Good luck to you!