And this is the way I feel.

Posted on May 28, 2018

Here is something that feels familair to everyone involved in these Dietbet games. Please, look at the picture. Don't be offended with the international sign of displeasure, it isn't meant for anyone who might read this, it is just the way I feel. I am a mess. At a time when life should be really good it is anything but. Retired, working part time at something I enjoy, and a healthy family should add up to...well, more than this.

The latest thing is a diagnosis of sleep apnea. It couldn't be a simple case of obstructive apnea, nooooo, it has to be one of these things that involves my brain forgetting to breathe on it own whilst I sleep. Is it curable? Of course it is. Here is this little machine which will set somebody back 5K. Five Thousand freakin dollars for a device that, when it detects hesitation, pops a little extra air into my nose to kick start me. It turns out a I am also a Polyp hyper producer which gets me even more frequent colonoscopies. Apparently, like any old machine, my body is showing its age and things are breaking down.

Then there is the question of weight. I feel like I look like the creature in the picture as well. I don't know if I have ever been more uncomfortable in my body than I am right now. So I feel like a grumpy old fat gorilla. After so many years I should have gotten it right. I won't ever be sleek, but I should look like this guy either. I've tried a lot of stuff and here I am, back to square one.

So I will strap it on once again. That's a good descriptor, don't you think? I will strap on the body armor and give it another shot. I'm not going to promise myself the world. I am here in the Dietbet Matrix because it has worked for me in the past. I am going to read the thoughts of others, I am going to be more active, and I am going to be honest with myself and the community. There may not be many, if any opportunities to get back to feeling normal. It is time to shun the destructive behavior. It is time to immerse myself in the cure.

Comment Now!

Cindy V.

03/15/2019 7:49PM

Way to keep going and never give up! That is a lot of obstacles to get over but it sounds like you are doing your best to get over them as best as you can. I hope we can all be a great help to each other and be new friends to encourage and lean on during the next few weeks. Stay strong

Julie Lama

05/30/2018 9:07PM

I feel ya my weight has been creeping on for a while. Just a result of stress and being along for that rude untill oppertunity comes that I can change or lessen the stress.Feeling it around the corner.Wishing you the best luck this month.It takes time step by step. But feeling ready as well.We can do this. Just gotta remember how and start putting them back in place.

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Chipper

05/29/2018 2:49PM

Despite all of life's challenges you are here now, and you will be able to overcome if you remind yourself there is no other option. There is no failure, only a pause in success, so keep on trying!

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Angie

05/29/2018 8:07AM

Hi Reggie, I love the photo! I can relate and feel like that more often than I like to admit! All we can do is get back up and try again! I started the year back up at my heaviest weight and feeling miserable! I'm trying to keep a better mindset this time in that I will appreciate every hurdle along the way and to just keep going! I will not lose the 100+ lbs I have to lose in a year, I will have ups and downs....but I can not stop, I have to keep trying...trying to do better, trying to exercise more, trying to eat clean more often...there are so many things I can keep working on! Happy to be on this journey together!

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Biking Syl

05/28/2018 9:04PM

Hi Reggie, way to push the reset button! As they always say: successful people are successful because they kept starting over until it finally worked. My winter was absolutely not successful in the traditional sense. But sticking to dietbets prevented even worse damage. So let's all start this over together. Because if nothing else we are stubborn. Let's do this!

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Ana

05/28/2018 5:13PM

Hey, Reggie! I don't think I can say anything to make things better. This all sounds pretty sucky. If it makes you feel any better, I am the heaviest I have been in a long, long while. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. But still, we persist. We are nothing if not persistent. Every morning I tell myself I will do better today. Most days I flop. But I'm always amazed at how resilient I am at the end of the day when I say to myself, "tomorrow I'll be better." Not sure if I'm valiant or just proving the definition of insanity. But I'm right here with you. And I still believe.We *can* do this. We are worth it. And every time we make a healthy choice, we are practicing that skill and we will get better and better at it each time we do it!Hang in there, Reggie! I am sending all sorts of positive energy and good juju your way!

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