Ugh, just ugh. Disgusted with myself.

Posted on January 26, 2015

Slipping back into old bad habits AGAIN. What is wrong with me? Why do I do this? In no mood to cook, so I'm grazing on just junk. Which, if I would get my stupid brain to remember, is how I wound up with diabetes to begin with. You'd think that would be my motivator, but no. Of course it isn't.

I just want to curl up in a ball and give up.

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ivana k.

01/30/2015 6:34PM

Reading your post makes me think of two friends, both had high weight and both lost it for medical reasons. The first one said that the trick for her was to learn to make U-turns whenever she was heading into a wrong direction in her diet.... without make a big deal out of it...simply, just like in driving, she got back to the place from where the next step was clear again. The second friend was once sitting in my kitchen, telling me that she decided to lose weight. She stated clearly: "I am beautiful and fabulous, and now, I just want to be fit". Later, after she lost about fifty pounds, I asked her where she took the confidence about the statement of her own beauty. She replied: "At one point I realized I resemble my mom. Her, I always viewed as beautiful. From here, it was no brainer. I concluded I must be beautiful too". Aren't all our moms quite gorgeous?!!! Would any of us ever consider saying: "Mom, I will love you only if you lose weight?" Ridiculous thought, isn't it?

Nella Wafer

01/28/2015 5:27AM

Your post has stayed on my mind for days. I know the feeling and it hurts to think about how you feel right now. (Or how you were feeling when you wrote this--hopefully you are feeling better now!) I hate to see you talk to yourself this way, it just adds to the struggles you are feeling. Be kind to yourself! Oh, and diabetes and weight and appetite are all very complex things. I am all for taking charge of the situation and living a healthier lifestyle to get it under control, but it's not necessarily as simple as saying you got diabetes because of the way you ate. In the process of developing diabetes, there were a lot of complicated things going on that changed your appetite, cravings, and body weight. Everyone blames diabetics as if the fat caused the diabetes, but it might be a chicken-and-egg problem, where the weight gain may be a result of the diabetes process, not the other way around. In any case, wishing you a much better day today!

Michelle F.

01/27/2015 5:38AM

Oh my gosh, I have been there so many times. Do not give up! I hate to see anyone talk about themselves like this...you are human! We all have struggles of one kind or another, but the main thing is to keep trying to work on what we struggle with. That is all we can do. And by signing up for this challenge, it is obvious you are motivated to work on this. You can do this...no matter how many slip-ups you have, just keep going. And hopefully slip-ups will become fewer and far between. As someone else posted above, when it comes to junk food, I can't keep it in the house period. I have lower will power when I am stressed and I know that. My husband eats more junk than I do, so we made an agreement to find some "junk food" that only he likes, and we keep that in the house for him...it is stuff that doesn't tempt me. Things like cookies and chocolate that we both like, we don't keep it in the house. If that is an issue in your house, maybe try that? Good luck! You CAN and WILL do this!

desertcat

01/27/2015 3:26AM

It's really hard to change your habits for good, but pre-planning is the key. Maybe more freezer ziplock meals could help you out? And again, only stock healthy snacks, there is also nuts & seeds, nut butters or PB2 powder, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, Larabars, KIND bars (some are only 4g of sugar), extra dark chocolate. Probably try to avoid popcorn, chips, or cookies, or maybe even chocolate, if you think you just don't yet have the willpower to only eat 1 portion. These are trigger foods for a lot of people. If you think you are just eating because you are bored sometimes, try drinking tea instead. Whatever you eat, make sure it's a real, whole food, not a "diet" food with dubious ingredients.

desertcat

01/27/2015 3:17AM

I've made it easier for myself by pre-planning my meals (I use Plan to Eat, which isn't free, but there are free apps and sites out there), buying only healthy snacks, and buying very little unhealthy food. Luckily my husband is also concerned about his health, even more concerned about mine, and we don't have kids. Make sure you are eating enough protein and fat, those will keep you so full you won't be able to snack much.

desertcat

01/27/2015 3:13AM

If you can, don't buy the junk at all. If you can afford it, get pre-cut, pre-washed fruits and vegetables 1-2x/week. If you really have a weakness for baked goods, bake some on your days off but only with super healthy ingredients - you can use applesauce or avocado or pumpkin for fat, put extra eggs in, cut the sugar way down, add extra fiber etc. And only allow yourself small portions at a time, make them last all week.

Ruby541

01/27/2015 1:25AM

Don't give up! It's just ONE slip and you can pick yourself up and move on at any moment. It'll be so worth it. Knock yourself out of the fugue state, get some paper and a pen and out together a list of things you KNOW you manage to stick to for the next couple days. Even it's lean cuisine meals and go do some shopping and try to stick with it just for the next day or two, and then try again! It'll get easier!

Kelly P.

01/27/2015 12:34AM

So many of us have been there, again and again. Don't give up. If you're not able to motivate yourself to cook at the moment, try shopping for healthy, quick meals (salads from the salad bar at your grocery store, soups, etc.) for the week that will be ready when you need them. I find if I've got a healthy meal ready and waiting I'm much less likely to snack. It's not the most economical option, but it may be the kickstart you need.

Jenny

01/26/2015 11:13PM

Try to remember that you don't have to be "perfect". Each minute is a new opportunity to start fresh. Don't give up. Don't feel guilty. Just start again. This is not something that ends. It's something you have to work at every day and some days will be better than others. You can do it!

RebeccaNow

01/26/2015 10:24PM

As I read this I'm tossing back a few Rolo chocolates...I can relate...but each day is new...slow but sure to get there is better than not being aware and trying...We can do it. We WILL do it!