As I start my Transformer journey, I thought I would reflect on how I got here.
As a child and then a teen, I was always at the higher end of the normal weight charts. Since high school, my weight has fluctuated between 160 and 190 pounds. I like food and, apparently, food likes me too. When I got married 13 years ago, I weighed around 160 pounds. When I became pregnant with my first child 8 years ago, I also weighed around 160 pounds. My weight had fluctuated in between these years. While I was pregnant, I gained 70 pounds. Yes, 70 pounds. I managed to lose it all and then some. It didn't just fall off, I worked very hard for it. After work while my daughter was in daycare, I would hit the gym. Cardio equipment, weight machines and group exercises - I did it all. When I became pregnant with my second child 5 years ago, I weighed 155 pounds. Determined not to gain so much weight this time around, I kept up my workout routine until my due date. I did not give into my cravings. This time around, I gained 80 pounds. Yes, 80 pounds. (I'm claiming genetics were at work here, darn it!) I didn't go back to work this time around but did return to the gym routine. I lost 35 pounds in the first year and then I got stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck. For 3 years I tried to get the weight off and it wouldn't budge. My goal weight is 147.5 pounds. I was stuck 200 pounds. I was fit and active and obese. Sigh.
My children are now 7 and 4 years old. Last November I went to my doctor to find out if there was something wrong as I was eating right, working out and still weighed in at 195 pounds. Bloodwork, ultrasounds - nothing. I was referred to a weight loss clinic. Same tests, same results. I started seeing the doctor and nutritionist. My food and exercise diary looked good. Over 6 months I lost a whopping 4 pounds. Sigh. And the doctor told me "you only get out of the program what you put into it" - I was devastated. I went there for support and felt judged and not taken seriously despite my efforts. I asked if sleep could be a factor in my inability to lose weight. I was brushed off. But then I did my own research - and my 3 hours of sleep per night probably WAS a large part of my issue. After that appointment last month, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took myself off of the fat blocking medication that the weight loss clinic had put me on. (I felt it was doing nothing since I wasn't eating the amount of fat that the blocker would tolerate.) I kept the same eating habits and workout schedule. I started getting more rest. I haven't been able to properly address my sleep issues, but when I get tired I take the luxury of resting - even if it is just closing my eyes for 15 minutes and meditating. I added a 15 minute treadmill walk to my evening routine to help keep my metabolism revved overnight. AND I FOUND DIETBET. I happened upon Shaun T's post about his DietBet challenge and thought I'd give it a shot. I doubted that with my history I would be successful at losing 4% of my body weight. I had ups and downs, mentally and physically over the last 4 weeks. And somehow, someway, something clicked in my body and I rocked that challenge. I lost 9.5 pounds! I was afraid that I wouldn't make the 7.7 pound loss that I needed to, but I surpassed even that.
What happened differently this time? I'm not sure. But I think most of it is mental. I managed to find this group of wonderful, supportive people that are also trying to lose (or maintain) their weight. You all understand the ups and downs and the challenge that it is some days to just go for that walk or run or even just get out of bed. And you don't judge when someone makes a bad decision - instead the positive reinforcement comes out. It is so motivating, that when I am working out and so winded from a run that it is like I can hear a bunch of people cheering me on. What a great feeling!
With each day that goes by, my children get older and I get a little bit more sleep (this week, aside, since we've all had the cough that just won't quit!) And if I can keep counting my calories and working out to the best of my abilities - while taking time to acknowledge that sometimes life does get in the way - then I know that I can and will make my goal of 147.5 pounds.
I am now in the first month of a Transformer challenge. I have obligated myself for the entire 6 months. At my initial weigh in this week, I weighed 184.5 pounds. Today (the final day of the Shaun T challenge), I weighed 182.0 pounds. If I can make goal in this 6 month challenge, I will be sitting at 166.1 pounds. Oh, so much closer to my goal than I have been in a long, long time. I am ready for that to happen. And I am thankful to have the support of my family and friends and the rest of the DietBetters that have helped me along the way.