Awakening from Despair

Posted on March 6, 2015

I recently read a post that made me take pause and think about that person's feelings and about my journey. For this reason I felt the need to write a very brief overview how my path brought me to dietbet.

In August of last year (2014) my life should have ended, I truly felt like I was dead. On August 5th I was in a motorcycle accident. I had been on a motorcycle for the majority of my life. That day was not unlike any other, I was on my bike commuting to work and not wearing my helmet (stupid, if you ride cover your dome!). Out of nowhere a Landscaping truck ended up right in front of me. I tried to move into the space between the Trailer and the curb to come to a stop. However, when hitting the brakes and moving over I hit gravel, lost traction, and the wheel buckled. I went down going about 45 mph, my head hit the curb 2 inches down from the angle (which saved my life). That is the last thing I remember before coming to conciousness in a Hospital's Trauma Unit three cities away.

I woke up to excruciating pain and I remember at times over the following weeks I wished I had just died in that accident because of the pain. Until one day my son came to me and said "Dad, I am glad you are ok. I know you don't like us crying, but, I cried for a whole day because you were hurt. Please don't be mad at me for crying." Tears immediately filled my eyes as I realised that I had 4 kids that I love dearly that very nearly lost their Dad in an instant. As I pondered on that I came to another very depressing conclusion, the path I am on now will end in the same result though slower. I told myself when I can walk again I will change that.

I began your typical workout as hard as you can process. Watching and reading everything I could on weightloss and fitness. Most everything I tried did not work, I felt like my desire to fix myself was useless because nothing worked. I was trying everyone's diet and still no weight was lost. I worked out for hours a day and still no movement on the scale.

I was still so anxious from my accident that I couldn't get behind the wheel of a car let alone back on a bike. So I got a Metro pass and for the first time in my life became a Mass Transit commuter. Which added some walking to my days.

Then one day there was a documentary (Hungry for Change) Amy was watching on Netflix, I didn't pay much attention to it because for the most part it focused on her Raw Vegan lifestyle. However, there was one line that I heard that stuck with me and forever changed my life: "Just add in the good stuff! Eventually it's going to crowd out the bad stuff." What this little line from David Wolfe did for me was make me realize that I had my mind in the wrong place, it had nothing to do with taking away, and had everything to do with adding in. So I changed the way I looked at eating. Slowly weight started coming off.

Then I somehow stumbled upon Dietbet, and decided from that first day that I would commit to this social life 100%. I would blog and comment about my feelings, and I would reply to others. I would soak everything in. What came next was a shock to me being a life long Weight Lifter I decided to stop pushing weights for a while and just start walking with my wife. Walking became boring so I started adding in little spurts of some jogging. Boy at over 300 lbs that hurt, but I felt so damn good when I was done I just kept doing it. Within days I decided you know what I want to turn myself into a runner, so I just start running. My boys play basketball everyday with the neighbourhood kids in my yard, so I started paying with them. We live in the Phoenix valley with access year round to walking paths and Hiking trails so we started doing that together as a family every Saturday.

The results of all of these very small changes in my life??? Since January 1st I have lost just about 30lbs, I have hit every goal I set, I run everyday, and I purposely get off the bus 3 miles early to add in the extra walking.

6 months ago I was dead. Today I am more alive than I have ever been. All of you, my dietbet friends, have literally saved my life and gave me that little extra bit of motivation to keep playing, keep pushing, keep changing, keep hitting the goals, and to keep living.

My name is Travis and I am fat. I am here to heal myself!

Comment Now!

Elizabeth H.

04/14/2015 10:13AM

Since you wrote this I have been repeating the comment to myself about adding in the good to crowd out the bad. Literally, it has been randomly popping into my mind for over a month. I just wanted to let you know that stuck with me in such a good way! I even realized that THAT was exactly how I got to be so healthy through college and that is what I need to do to get back to it. I may be moving at a snail's pace and I'm still sometimes struggling with getting past bad habits I developed in the past couple years to deal with stress and unhappiness, but it's getting better! I'm putting that good back in and it absolutely is crowding out the bad. So, thanks for sharing and I'm going to go find that documentary now :-)

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Travis

Elizabeth, isn't it just a crazy quote. It comes to my mind all of the time. Such an easy simple thing that has an immense impact. I'm glad that your are seeing the same positive results with it that I do. You're awesome, keep up the great work!

Eric R.

03/06/2015 10:13PM

Wow Travis, amazing story. Very inspiring. Things really do happen for a reason, I'm glad you found your life purpose again. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Jessica D.

03/06/2015 6:19PM

WOW! what an inspiring post. Way to go Travis!

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Travis

Thanks Jessica.

Soolcat

03/06/2015 2:12PM

Fantastic post, Travis. Glad you're here.

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Travis

Thanks Lisa.

Lisa DeBonis

03/06/2015 2:07PM

Travis, it was very difficult for me to read your blog because I can really relate to it! On Christmas Even in 2014, I hit some black ice, everyone was fine, but my 1 year old was screaming, so naturally, I got out to check on her. People stopped to help, asking if we were okay and then...someone screamed "Run! Truck!" I had to leave my little 1 year old in that car and run for my life, while praying for hers! The truck hit my vehicle, the concrete on the side of the overpass and then me before stopping! She saw me get hit, I saw her get hit. I hit my head on the concrete when I went down, everything was black and silent, then I opened my eyes, crawled out from under the truck that hit me and screamed for someone to please get my baby out of the vehicle before someone killed her! I saw the EMS pull up and get out a gurney and thought, oh man, someone has to go to the hospital. Little did I know, I was that someone! I wouldn't go out at night, I wouldn't drive/ride in a car! I get it!

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Lisa DeBonis

Travis, thank you! She is fine now. She went through a period of not wanting to be away from Mommy's side and not sleeping anywhere but with us, but other than that and a bruise on her cheek at the time, she is fine. Me??? I am getting there! I need a new hip. Since that day, my left knee and left hip have been very painful. I am working out as much as I can on the days that I can and trying to make it stronger. I will be able to do so much more with a new hip! 21 more pounds to go to get it!

Travis

Man wouldn't it be nice if we could as adults bounce back from things like our little ones do. Good luck with the hip surgery, as far as the 21 goes, you can do it! keep up the good work :)

Pam

03/06/2015 1:00PM

Travis, I can't tell you how much this touched me and this community is such a powerful tool. A awesome group of people you do get what you need here and I am so blessed to have found it. When I saw dietbet on TV I said thats goofy but since trying it, it has been a hidden treasure I needed. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Travis

Thanks Pam, it is a treasure I agree.

Adina B.

03/06/2015 12:55PM

Wow! I teared up reading this! This is incredible! I love that line "Just add in the good stuff" That is so true and I think I need to take this with me as well. Thank you for your sincere and open blog. This is very special! You sound like you have the most amazing attitude and you deserve that awesome loss! Good for you! This is truly inspirational!

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Travis

Thanks Adina. :)

Rhonda G.

03/06/2015 12:53PM

Thank you for sharing your story. So many times in life when something bad happens we wallow in it. I'm glad you decided to take something that was bad and turned it into something that is good. I am blessed to call you friend here on dietbet.

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Travis

Thanks Rhonda