Why Is it So Important?

Posted on August 6, 2014

When I took on my first bet, it was all about getting in shape to ride and, yes, to look better. I wanted to look and feel healthy and all that, but I can admit to myself--and you--that I wasn't sure how far I'd go, how long my motivation would last.

Then the Cancer. That changed everything for me. Suddenly I wanted, NEEDED more. I've been sick before, I lost weight on chemo 10 years ago and I looked gaunt, awful. Weak. I lost weight in the worst possible way and the worst possible reason--and it showed. Yuch.

This time has to be different. I don't know if you can understand this--I'm not sure I understand myself. I want people to look at me and be surprised to find out I'm ill. I don't want my cancer shining like a beacon.

The other day my mom said something that really pissed me off--even though I know she was trying to help me make light of the situation. "Cancer becomes you". As in, at least you lost weight. I want my friends and family to see that I'm fighting through this on my own terms. I'm not getting any help from my illness. Cancer didn't work out at the gym everyday or dictate how i would eat. I am not cancer. No more than I am fat. I will not be categorized by my illness nor my weight.

Now you may be wondering why I'm posting this here and not some cancer support site. Easy. I've made friends here. Many of you ARE my support. And, also, you may also have felt the brunt of others' assumptions or categories. There is no reason for any of us to live by someone else's lable.

You decide who you want to be. You decide what is right for you. You decide what is healthy. You decide what is beautiful. You decide what is important and why you are here.

And in the end each of us decides how we choose to live--to fight for what we want or to let our circumstances dictate what happens to us. Believe me, it's worth the fight!

Comment Now!

HapiCampr

08/07/2014 11:30AM

You are a hero for me today Lynda. I really needed to read this today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Cherie and Lynda H. like this comment.

Lynda H.

Thank you. I'm glad I could help

jennifer d.

08/07/2014 9:22AM

Great post. It is so honest and inspirational. Thank you for sharing this :-) I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Lynda H. likes this comment.

Staci T.

08/07/2014 8:00AM

All I see is a woman with a beautiful smile!

Lynda H. likes this comment.

Lynda H.

Happy face :)

Cherie

That's exactly what I see Staci!

Cherie

08/07/2014 5:08AM

Oh Lynda...such powerful words! Love that attitude! Even after losing weight I find mixed emotions when someone notices that I've lost weight. It sometimes feels like they have been actually judging me somehow. I, rarely even notice when someone loses weight. I guess I just enjoy that person's company and not what they look like. I'm losing weight to please me, feel healthier and feel comfortable in my clothes.....not for everyone else's approval! Thanks for the great pep talk!!

no name, HapiCampr and Lynda H. like this comment.

Lynda H.

You too? I rarely notice weight loss or gain in others. I only get obsessive about myself. Lol

Cassandra S.

08/06/2014 11:25PM

Wow, so inspiring!!!!!! Way to go :)

HapiCampr and Lynda H. like this comment.

Lynda H.

Thanks

Linda O.

08/06/2014 11:24PM

I so agree with you, Lynda. Labeling of other people is so easy, and so down right stupid. I have had labels on me because of my weight, my sexuality, my indesire to be a very feminine woman, my clothes, my injuries and so on. People tend to label you as soon as they can. They tend to label you just so they can interact with groups of people instead of individuals, since it is easier to not give to much of yourself that way.

People will never stop labeling, so we need to guide them in the direction of the right label for us. And that is what you are doing. Instead of letting them use the label of "cancer" and "ill" you will get the label of "strength" and "dedication". You rock on!

HapiCampr, Cherie and Lynda H. like this comment.

Lynda H.

I love the idea of of guiding folks to the right label!

SusyQ

08/06/2014 11:22PM

I felt the sting of the "cancer becomes you" comment. I'm sure she meant well, but that's not what I would want to hear either. You look great in this photo and you have an admirable goal. :-) Fight on!

HapiCampr, Cherie and Lynda H. like this comment.

DeDaun

08/06/2014 5:32PM

Great blog Lynda! I love "I dont want my cancer shining like a beacon" you have a fantastic attitude that so many of us are strengthening our courage with. THANK YOU!

HapiCampr, Cherie, Susie D. and Lynda H. like this comment.

Jules

08/06/2014 5:06PM

Great post Lynda! The picture of you is gorgeous!! Cancer doesn't define you! Its how you live and fight with cancer that does! You are strong and courageous! Thank you for sharing your story. You are a wonderful inspiration!